Where the sky meets the sea

Grandpa....

2012-01-15T01:32:00.001+08:00

*I found this entry, i wrote it before my grandfather passed away

I felt that I should write something about my grandfather. I never felt that he was a good man, all though his life he was a selfish man, childish and foolish. He single handedly destroyed the lives of his children and in turn crippled my generation. He was a gambler, a cheat, a liar and an abusive husband. He was everything I stood against, he at once manifested all the qualities I despised in men, but he was blessed beyond comprehension. During his last years, his children serve and care for him faithfully. My mother became his full time care giver, my father co care giver, my extended family finance in lieu of physical presence and care and even the grandchildren participate in his care. Do we really reap what we sow? Sometimes, it doesn’t seem that way.
As he entered his twilight years, nature took away his mental faculties. He lost the ability to create new memories. My late grandmother was bedridden just as he started showing signs of Alzheimer’s. He started to show unmatched concern for her well being, it was as if all he could think about was her. The wife he has treated so badly all throughout his marriage was now the focus of his life. My family used to say that it was of some kind of twisted karma, some kind of trick of God played on his mind. Even after the passing of my late grandmother he kept asking where she was, and if her absence was the result of her seeing another man outside.
When we have our higher faculties stripped away from us, all we have left are our raw emotions and desires. Our insecurities surfaces shamelessly, we display the drives that motivates our thoughts and actions. Cast away are the social in line dancing steps we are forced to be concerned about, force to keep in line.
My grandfather has a memory limit of less then 2 minutes, every moment is a new moment for him, new, virgin and disconnected from prior moments. He lives life without concern for consequence, he no longer acts be reacts. He has become a shadow of the person he was, and even less than the man he once was. He is no longer the father of my father, but a shell of a man.
Sometimes I wonder, if I really get to live life without consequence, what would I do? What would I say to those around me? Who would I love? Would I still keep to the principles I hold so close to my heart if there wasn’t any consequences for breaking them?
Then I remembered, a line; I would rather lose everything but my principles, than have everything without them. I pray that if I ever lose my higher mental faculties, I will do so with dignity and honor.

Self Speak

2011-12-28T01:42:00.001+08:00

The spoken word is our most powerful weapon. The words we speak are like magic spells or chants, and just like spells or chants it must be completed to achieve manifestation. The catch is that we do not know when the spell or chants ends, and the only indication are the manifestation. If a person keeps saying to others that he is tired, guess what kind of spell is he invoking? It is no surprise when you next speak to him he actually looks and feel tired. In fact his lethargy might even spread to you.
Our self-speak are spells we cast upon ourselves, what we tell ourselves frames how we see the world and shifts our focus. If we keep telling ourselves that the world out there is full of dangers and that it is better to stay in our comfort zone… oh comfort zone, that’s another entry all together, then we will let every opportunity to stretch ourselves bypass us.
When you tell your child or your sister or brother that they are stupid or slow, over time guess what, they will come to believe that they are slow and stupid. But just as this is a force for destruction it is also a force for good and change. If we speak positivity to others around us, we will empower their spirits give them hope and a reason to dream.
I believe strongly in this, and it is my greatest weapon. Self-Speak helps generate belief, and we must always believe in ourselves. No one would believe in us unless we first believe in ourselves. Who do you believe in?

Post Christmas Thoughts

2011-12-27T01:27:00.001+08:00

It is my experience that the eve of Christmas or New Year is always more happening or exciting or worth looking forward to then the actual day itself. Why? I am inclined to think that it is the anticipation that excites us humans. The thought of an arbitrary day, infused with so much social meaning to the point that it will spill over into madness. The frenzied shopping, the mad rush, the packed schedules of friends and family members all contribute to the “anticipation”.
Everything dies down after the countdown is over. When the party poppers have been popped, and the champagne devoured people retreat home where the slide back to reality ensues. The actual day is always far less exciting as compared to the countdown day. It was just like that for me, packed to the brim, sleeping 4 hours ever day and suddenly on Christmas, it was Church in the morning and a Christmas lunch party at a good friend’s house.
What inspired was what happened in the evening. A friend smsed me a merry Christmas message and ended with a suggestion to meet up after Christmas. Seeing how Christmas evening was the only evening I got I decided to fast forward the catch up to that evening itself, and that’s what happened.
My friend was feeling so many mixed feelings during this festive season. We talked and I pry and pried trying my best to help my friend come to terms. After we finished our drinks, I felt terribly helpless. Why? Because I felt I didn’t make a drop of difference at all. Why, because I am only one person.
It is my experience that people are social creatures, and hence much of our self worth and value comes from external validation. It was like that for me at one point, but I have evolved from that very narrow thinking, now I self generate energy to sustain my sense of self. But others have not yet reached that level, and I feel for them.
As social creatures, sometimes we place too much weight on the opinion of others and we forget that the most efficient way to change the opinion of others is to change ourselves from within first. Human lives are built using social relationships as beams and bricks. Some beams and bricks form core pillars that sustain our sanity, mutual Love and Respect serves as the mortar that binds our inner life. But we are not made of such inanimate objects, relationships are like cells, they are our building blocks, they are alive, they grow and they die. My friend could not understand this simple concept, her pain on Christmas day was more than what anyone should bear on such a festive season.
One day, I will be strong enough to protect and lift all those who are important to me. One day

Outsourcing Laziness

2011-12-15T23:59:00.000+08:00

Today I would like to share one of my guiding principles when it comes to helping people. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and over the years I have come to the personal conclusion that humans are social creatures and their potential can only be maximized when they assist or “help” each other. No one will stop you if you want to get an iphone 4S without data plan, but to maximize its potential, a data plan would be a good idea. No one said that humans cant live alone, but having healthy relationships with others would be a good idea.

We have helped many people throughout our lives, sometimes we end up with a warm fuzzy feeling inside, other times we often feel underappreciated or worst feel cheated for lending assistance. Sometimes we help others only when they ask for assistance, other times we take the “initiative” to help others even without them asking for it. Silently thinking in our hearts that aiding without being ask is somehow a more premium type of assistance compare to if one is asked to aid. I will not address specifics, contextual, circumstantial or hypothetical situations, instead I will introduce a concept to assist the decision make process.

“Outsourcing Laziness” occurs when someone summons for assistance because he or she lacks the *discipline to execute the task according to acceptable standards or even going through the motion itself. Note here that the individual is both able and possess the time to bear the task him/herself but instead decides to off load the task(s) to another individual or group. Here the person is considered as “lazy”, this “lazy” individual would than via discourse, rhetoric, deception or any other means outsource the task at hand to another person or group to commence or complete.
As a principle, social human beings in my opinion should always and without fails aid and assist those who are unable to aid themselves, as long as one is able to aid, one should aid. Note here also that ability or able-ness is not narrowly defined as physical ability but also takes into consideration time. If one is physically or intellectually able but pressed for time, he or she is considered unable as well.

Let us consider a scenario, I am a person who always aids others unconditionally and I consistently assist two individuals, one who outsources laziness (Thomas) and other who is unable to aid himself (Jason). Over time, Thomas would take me for granted because he knows that even without me he still can execute the tasks, and in all likelihood continue to enjoy my services and become even more lazy himself. But James, who is clearly aware that he is unable to assist himself, would value and appreciate me. At every opportunity, James would try to find a way to take on the task himself so that he can be independent. Should that happen, he would be able to free me and I would be glad that I helped me and both parties would walk away feeling positive. Even if he is unable to replace me and I end up aiding forever, he would likewise forever be appreciative and goodwill will be generated.

But for Thomas, the vicious cycle can only be broken by me, the aider and not the aided because at the core of the issue, the intention is destructive. I am being exploited by Thomas, and over time I will feel underappreciated and sore, soon I will break the cycle on bitter terms and Thomas would have to find another to outsource his laziness to.
My examples are mono tasked, overly simplistic makes heroic assumptions about the nature of humans. But operationally I find it useful, aid those who cannot aid themselves, reject the call for assistance of those who summon you because they were too lazy to do it himself. Goodwill cannot be found in aiding those who seek to exploit the good nature of people, whereas it can be found in abundance when aiding the unable.

Time is our most precious resource, why? Because it is a non-renewable resource, it is limited and each of us does not know how much of it we have. Be selective about who and how we are spending this resource on. The synergy of “who” and “how” creates a tinted lens over our mind’s eye, affecting how we see other human beings. Spend time helping the unable and you will find that your life is full of appreciative people, spend time with people who exploit you by outsourcing their laziness to you and you will find yourself surrounded by crafty foxes.

So… what are you doing with who later?

*Here discipline is conceptualized as the quality possessed by a person to execute actions considered undesirable by the person.

Hugs

2011-10-27T23:47:00.003+08:00

It's better to miss her than to miss her scent,

when you know her scent,

it means you two were once close

Videos

2011-10-16T11:03:00.002+08:00

Some of the best videos i have seen on youtube.

Promise me ?

2011-10-12T17:25:00.005+08:00

A good deed

2011-10-12T17:22:00.001+08:00

I helped execute a surprise birthday party recently. Basically i got our friends together and went to her place and surprised her. It was more complicated, that was the idea. What was interesting was, one hour before the surprise was to be pulled, she texted me and asked if I was free to hang out. I knew that all her friends are not going to respond positively because… I have contacted them all and arranged for them to meet me. But it must have felt quite bad if everyone you called during your birthday said that they can’t make it. She must have felt dejected. But… that was my doing.

When we all surprised her, she was visibly touched. During the course of the evening she expressed her thoughts to me and even messaged me the next day telling me how she felt.

It felt good to have made someone’s day, or in this case, someone’s birthday. She might forget this birthday in light of the many other birthdays she will have with her other friends, her family and one day with her own family. But for me, I was just grinning as I made my way home.

I didn’t give her any present, my only expense was a birthday card. All her friends thought that the design was bad and said “Vernon why did u choose that? It doesn’t even have the words happy birthday on it”. Why? Because I thought that it would be a design she liked, and I was right. The next morning she text me telling me that she really liked the card and that I really know her well enough to have chosen such a design. What was my expense? My time, my single most precious resource, a resource even I do not know how much of it I even have, and yet I am giving and giving it away.

Time is one’s most precious resource, it is relationships’ most potent fertilizer, we never know how much of it we have, we can never lose a moment or gain a second. Time is a powerful servant and a merciless master, govern Time or be governed by it.

Knowing a person is a rewarding experience, I can attest to that fact. I believe in the few over the many, the quality over the quantity. Over the course of various relationships we have with people in our lives, every once in a while we connect with them, we touch their lives in ways we cannot imagine. That night was one of those nights, I helped a friend who was feeling lonely and left out to suddenly feel like she has the best friends in the world, I helped a girl fill an empty evening with unexpected laughter and cheer. That night was one such moment. I do hope I get to create such moments again, and I am sure I will.

it came around

2011-09-30T01:20:00.002+08:00

Here it is, my FAVORITE PENCIL

A few days ago I brought grandpa to the hospital again for a post-hospital stay checkup. The check-up included a blood test all in the entire whole visit took 3 hours including a 90min wait for the blood test result.

Naturally I brought a book to read, and a another pencil to take notes. After I arrived at the hospital went through the admin process and sat down and took out my book, I reached into a pocket in my bag and as if my magic, my fingers curled around my favourite pencil. Its been in my bag this whole time. The strange thing was I don’t remember putting the pencil in that pocket, and to top thing off, during my search for my pen I went through my whole bag including that pocket. As far as I am concerned, it was a small miracle.

Being the overly thinking guy that I am, I had to over analyse things so here it is.

I went back to my last blog entry about losing my favourite pencil and read it again. It was true, the lost was real to me, even though the pencil was in my bag the whole time the loss was very real to me. At the bottom of my heart, I “knew” that it was lost to me forever, and I accepted it. We accept or reject based on emotion, and we justify by reason. This is the reason why so many smart and intellectual people are not happy, they are not addressing the basic human drive, emotion. They have an overdeveloped brain and a premature heart. But that’s not the point, I am ranting again. Back to my pencil, I knew that it was lost to me, and I accepted it. I moved on and started to use another writing instrument. At the back of my head, I swear I said to myself, now that I have reached the end of my education, I guess this pencil has run its course and the time has come for me to part with it.

When my fingers touched the pencil in my bag, I didn’t even need to take it out and look at it, I just wrapped my fingers around it and knew that it was my pencil. The feel of the plastic, the smooth rubber grip, the broken clip, the hole at the top of the eraser cap, I knew them all by touch. I even know how it smells like.

My mind started to fantasise, I imagined my pen after being dropped on the floor of the MRT, started an amazing journey to find its way back to my bag, back to my grip, like Toy Story 1.

So here is my though for the day, during the course of our lives, there will be episodes and events, people and persons who appear, walk in, walk out and disappear. We can try our best, be vigilant, like how I was with my pencil. But we cannot always be vigilant, and we are bound to slip up, as I have when I was tired and taxed. But my pencil came back to me, even after I have lost hope. If its meant to be, no force in the universe can make me lose this precious pencil, if its not meant to be, then no force in the universe can keep it in my pencil box.

Re-reading this post, it really sounds like I am over dramatizing a small incident. That I forgot I have left my pen in that pocket and I was not careful in checking my bag. The incident was simple, but what went on in my head space was far from simple, I came to terms with my many loses in my life, both material and non-materials, my mistakes and carelessness. And when the pen knew that I have learned my lesson. It came back to me, because now I am worthy of a 10 year old mechanical pencil.

I lost my favourite mechanical pencil

2011-09-26T00:09:00.001+08:00

It has been a tight past few days. I am burning through books and running around doing my errands. Today spent all day at JB with my brother attending a seminar, it was really worth it I felt. The speaker was entertaining, funny and informative. I have learned much this weekend.

But alas, on my way back via MRT I was reading a book on the train. I was already stretched out and I was having 2 sms convo at the same time. Finally when my stop at novena arrived I made special not to keep my phone which was on my lap and my book. As I stood up and walked off I felt like I have left something behind and I kept checking my wallet and my handphone. It was my pencil that I was using to highlight which rolled off onto the floor of the MRT and I walked away from it focus on something else.

I stole that pencil when I was in sec 3 and has been with me for 10 years. Its pink with a yellow easer cap. It sat through every exam with me since then, and I feel very attached to it. In my moment of weakness I did not check properly. I only found out when I came home and emptied my bag.

I sat down thinking of all the material items I have lost… I lost 2 sets of home keys, a handphone and now this … my favourite pencil. Even though I was so attached to it, even though it has been with me for so long, and I expected myself to get worked up over it. But nothing happened, I just looked into my bag and thought… “oh … that’s too bad”. Kept the bag in my cupboard and sat down and picked up another pencil.

I felt such a strange feeling. I guess I have really changed a lot since I stole that pencil. I have gone through so much in the last 10 years I could easily write a book on it. Looking back, I guess I would arrange my books in chapters based on what I had to give up or let go in my life. At one point I gave up the hope that I would be a good looking guy so I started to harness other energies. At some point I gave up on trying to be an artist when I was 14, amongst other things.

Slowing and gradually life dealt me heavier and heavier hands, these hands weighted heavily on my principles. Soon I have a clear vision and sense of right and wrong and I have not looked back since.

When I realized I lost my favourite pencil, my mind went autopilot, framed it as inconsequential and flushed it out of my mind. When I hard to be harsh to one of my friends, my mind warped reality and I saw it as something I had to do to protect us and I said what I had to say without guilt.

Almost anyone can be extreme and give up everything for something, but it is my maxim that it take a mature mind to have priorities and keep to them, to be aware that our actions don’t only affect us but those who love us and embark on the most responsible path for other ourselves and those we are accountable to.

I lost something dear to me today, but to let it affect me would be irresponsible. Consider the long term, the bigger picture and one’s principles and one will be a more astute mind.

Why Singaporeans complain so much

2011-09-17T10:50:00.001+08:00

In one sentence, I think Singaporeans complain so much become we have an overdeveloped sense of entitlement. I am a sociology major, hence I personally tend to favour the nurture over nature argument. I hardly think anyone can possibly be born with an innate sense of entitlement. This sense of entitlement was ingrained in us by our parents, school and our government.

Our generation was born in the good times, into a country what had such standards for quality. Standards which we have come to take for granted and come to be almost invisible to us, so blind are we to our high standard of living that you have to go to other developing country to feel the differentiation. I did not have to fight a war for my country’s independence; I was born “free”. My girl friends did not have to fight for their right to an education or to vote, I never had to be afraid of other race and he never needed to fear me. We were born into a world which was cushioned, we were given but it was not our entitlement, we were blessed but we did not deserve it.

Since I could remember, I was told by my parents that I must study hard or else “next time” I will be a road sweeper or other such mediocre professions. When I entered school, I saw how the better students were given different treatment because of their position in “class”. So interesting that in school we are grouped into classes, its psychological training I guess to prepare us to accept out place in society when we enter as adults. Better students don’t have to go for remedial classes like me, they get more recognition by the teachers, more respect. Lesser students like myself make up for it by being attention seeking and talkative. Better student were awarded prestige based on their position within the system, we were shown that there were “entitled” to such treatment based on their grades. Social forces like demographical backdrops did not matter; socio economic class did not qualify as an influential element in one’s performance as student. It did not matter that you have to share your computer with 3 other siblings so you can read up on the net, it did not matter that you didn’t have a place to study because your father keep singing KTV during crucial study hours of 7-10pm or even a fixed place to keep your books. I kept my books in a cardboard box when I was younger.Nothing matter but your position in class, your position entitles you to its rewards everything before your ascension did not matter.

When we enter the employment of the biggest employer in Singapore, the Civil service our reimbursement was pegged to my GPA. As if how well I did for Basic German contributes to my competencies as a CPF officer, it does not matter how many dependents I have, all that matters is my position determined by a collection of alphabets averaged out into a figure rounded to 2 decimal places. But by this point in time we have already internalized positions within institution are legitimately allocated certain rights. Our depravations are heighten by being reminded how much those with positions are endowed and how we will be further depraved if we did not keep pace.

It is this overdeveloped sense of entitlement I feel which makes Singaporeans complain and complain. Some can even complain that the seniors working at MacDonald’s are slow. I mean come the fuck on man, try working at 70 in a fast food joint which did not exist in your era that serves stuff you never ate in your life nor like to eat with arthritis in your bones and cataract in your eyes thickening.

We complain of low pay for graduates... we expect a certain level of pay just because we are more fortunate than others to be a little more educated. Why not ask for a lower pay but perform at your new job? or do we complain that we are already proven ourselves in school its time to take it easy? Are we afraid of hardwork and performing after we graduate? or have we been socialized to think that we only needed to put in effort to learn and achieve till we finish formal education?

Of course there are valid reasons for complaining, a dead cockroach in your soup is a good reason. But there are also unreasonable complains. Like slow service during peak hour, its peak hour for goodness sake, or how crowed Little india is on sunday, where you expect poor immgrant indian workers to go on their one day off from hard manual labor? Sentosa? Holland V? Dempsy?

its really simple, people complain because they think they are not getting what they are entitled for. Singaporeans complain so much because we think we are entitled to a lot and this attitude spills over into many areas of our lives.

Lets learn to appreciate those around us and how fortunate we are, and trust me, we will complain less and compliment more, be less jealous and more joyous.

Weddings and Endings

2011-09-11T11:22:00.000+08:00

A Day of reckoning

This weekend was a weekend of sorts for me. I attending two weddings, on Friday I attended Wenyan’s wedding. She was indeed a beautiful bride, and her groom was a foot Specialist at NUH, who was my age, 25. The dinner was substandard I felt, the air conditioning was bad, the video for the day’s activities was poorly edited, the Emcees were inexperienced and to top it up, the food was bad. I Took this opportunity to catch up with my secondary school friends, we talked about the reasons behind this marriage, how they have they been together etc. What will always been at the back of my mind is the fact that she broke the engagement once before. But a year after that the groom still came back to her. She broke it off because she “had not tried enough things in life yet”, that is to say they she had not finished being single. If she felt that way why did she accept it in the first place? Anyways, they are married now. Half the table I was sitting at had people I did not know, a mother and her two 20ish daughters. Quite pretty I might say, but their facial expression changed abit when I told them that I was a student. I am getting increasing sick of such a look. I feel like an impotent man. After dinner we stayed behind to make the groom and bride drink till about 1am.

The next day, Saturday, I attended the wedding of 28year old Alex my Platoon Sergeant upper study. It was there were I had the chance to meet up with a significant number of my army “friends”, the men who were under my command back in the day.

I felt that I utterly cannot relate to them at all anymore. Their words, their concerns, their jokes, even their consistent smoke breaks all felt like a lifetime ago. I felt that I was operating on a different plane from them. I was structurally aware, and they were not. I no doubt seemed strange to them, I had nothing to say to my men, whose topics involved girls, clubbing and drinking experiences which they have shared together. A few of them looked great, with their $100 haircut, Rolexes. They talked to each other about why so and so left what company and why, asked about each other’s jobs and pay. Naturally no one had anything to say to me about such things to me.

Was I envious of them? Not really, but the pain of being left behind the rest of my male counterparts was more acute that evening. I could not help but comparing my selves with those who were more successful. I did not have much to say, I felt so unproven, so mocked even though no one was mocking me, I felt that no one was taking me seriously. How could they? Whatever I had or upheld, they did not consider as valuable. They are the teeming masses.

When i am in NTU, I was a senior, I was good at what I did, I was looked up to my many for who I was, my principles and values were taken seriously. That evening, I was placed in a field where my habitus was worth nothing. The only capital that prevailed was economic capital and good looks, and I had none, I felt quite small indeed that evening.

I knew that given my education and capabilities I could easily outperform them in time. But I have always suffered from a problem. I had little patience for progress. I always want things to happen here and now. I guess it stems from my constant feeling of being supressed, by my commitments.

One day it will all be worth it, my patience will be rewarded. Hang tight Vernon

Remember Vernon

2011-08-26T00:55:00.002+08:00

Just came back from a run. its like 1am now.

After a long day working and an evening at Toastmasters welcome tea, i still went for a run. An all out run.

Remember Vernon, pain is weakness leaving the body, failing does not make you a failure, giving up does.

A letter from the past.

2011-08-25T23:57:00.002+08:00

A few days ago i came across a letter i wrote to future self.

It was written way back in 2006 just before i started my university, it was short, precise and innocent. It was addressed to me and it was to be opened on the 31/12/2010.

there was only 4 points, written in 4 sentences. I wasn't very much into writing it seems back then.

1) That i should have a part time job that i liked.

2) My grades should be above average

3) I should have a girl in my life who loves me and whom i love dearly

4) I should be confident and ready to take on the world

looking back upon my effectively 3 years in uni. Did i "achieve" my so called goals?

i would think so. all of them.

I do not have a consistent part time job, but i no longer believe that i should have one. My perspective on income and wealth have changed greatly over the last 3 years. A minor in entrepreneurship and many wealth creation and financial seminars have seen to that.

My grades are above average.

As for the part about love and girls, i was single back then but even then my younger self knew the difference. Loving others and being loved does not equal to a formal relationship for the world to see. Over the years i have been blessed and privileged to have had girls who have come to love me and in their small ways, and shown me that i am more than a friend to them, it was from them i learned how to love. To those who love me, i have indeed loved them back in my own way. I ask nothing of them. Over the months and years, some of them have left and i accepted it as natural death. Not every girl can understand and enjoy platonic love. Even thought they have left me, i still think of them and all they have done for me, and how little i have reciprocated. one of my few regrets in life, was to treat others less than how they treated me.

Am full of life and ready to take on the world. You bet i am. I have never been more ready and able than i am now. I have air in my lungs, a beat in my heart, blood flowing in my veins, a clear conscious, a open heart, a mind ready to learn. I have friends who have found it worth their while to invest in my their time and their advice. I have found mentors who are guiding me in their respective fields. I feel so blessed, so full of grace and power. Like a sword dancer, so beautiful and so deadly is his dance, likewise my moves in life and the words i speak. i have grown much spiritually as well.

I left out my family in my letter, it was a big mistake. I did not realized then how crucial a family unit is to a person's growth. Over the last 6 years i have strive to be the figure my siblings lacked, and the leader my family needed. In many ways i have succeeded, and i will continue to hold on and pressure myself to become a better person. For myself and for my family.

2011-08-25T09:55:00.001+08:00

THE PARADOX OF OUR TIMES

Is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers

Wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints

We spend more, but we have less.

We have bigger houses, but smaller families

More conveniences, but less time.

We have more degrees, but less sense

More knowledge, but less judgement

More experts, but more problems

More medicines, but less wellness.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often

We have learnt how to make a living, but not a life.

We have added years to life, but not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back

But have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbour.

We have conquered outer space, but not inner space.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted our soul.

We've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We've higher incomes, but lower morals.

We've become long on quantity but short on quality.

These are the times of tall men, and short character;

Steep profits, and shallow relationships.

These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare,

More leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are the days of two incomes, but more divorces;

Of fancier houses, but broken homes.

It is a time when there is much in the show window, and nothing in the stockroom.

A time when technology can bring this letter to you,

And a time when you can choose,

Either to make a difference .... or just hit, delete.

~ Anonymous

A woman as women should be.

2011-08-20T21:42:00.002+08:00

I have known many girls in my life, some very beautiful, some very intelligent, every one of them feminine. I am very fortunate as a guy, because very early in my life I overcame my shyness. Over time, this advantage compounded in all the spheres of my life, everyone in my life felt it. Talking to girls have never been a problem for me, I could make them laugh, make them smile, make them interested in me. What is my secret? It is simple, because I am an interesting person.

Over the years I harness the empirical knowledge of the girls around me, soon I have come to believe I have met every type of girl, every permutation of every quality a young female can embody.

Most of the time, they are frivolous, childish, childlike, lacking in depth and quality. If they happen to be intelligent, they would only be knowledgeable and not thinking. That is to say that they might know more than the average person, but neither reflexive nor reflective. They would lament the inequality of females at the workplace while shopping for high heels.

I detest the female pursuit of beauty. I enjoy the aesthetical elements of course, but I detest its pursuit. Girls all around me complain to no one in particular that they are too fat, too thin, too dark. They forget that perfection is not a human trait. They are trying to transcend the physical realm, let us remember that a perfect circle is a mental construct, the perfect circle does not exist in nature, not even the world is in such a shape. Young girls are chasing a fantasy.

A woman should know that perfection is a social mind trick, she should know that she is beautiful in her own skin. She should know the her flaws are her details, her weakness is what makes her different, her strength is what makes her graceful, and her grace is what makes her beautiful. A heart free of ill intent is a heart that has the ability to be like a weightless feather, unimposing to those around her.

Young females seek to perfect their appearance at the expense of hollowing out their inner world. A fickle mind, an ignorant attitude, an inability to sustain thought is all signs of an immature person. Many young females are immature simply because they spend most of their time reserving that which cannot be preserved, instead of enriching that which nothing can take away, a graceful spirit, a sound mind and a big heart.

There was once I stopped believing in such a woman, I lost faith that she even exist. But, of out the blue I met her and she renewed my faith in my approach. Because of her, I now know that I am right. She is a woman as women should be, beautiful in her own skin, simple in her pleasures and gracious in her endeavors.

Tomorrow

2011-08-14T23:52:00.003+08:00

is my first day of school, and as expected my first class of my 4^th and final year is a class I am not supposed to attend, HS301, Contemporary Social Theory Lecture by Lim Chee Han. I look forward to this class as I felt my HS301 by Kwok Kian Woon was somewhat rushed. I have every intention to attend this lecture throughout the semester, among other classes that I am also “auditing”. That’s going to be really awesome.

This semester will be trying in many ways, my FYP topic is very challenging as it deals with aesthetics, Bourdieu and ….. children all the same time. I started with great dreams for this project, and how it has trickled down to only a 10,000 word essay. I see it as a blessing, because the data and groundwork is simply too much for a one man show. This project looms over my academic life, it will make or break my 4 years in NTU.

On the side I also have so much to read, books pile on my desks faster than I can ever read them. My events fill my days faster than I could recover from them. It is as if my entire existence is vying for my attention. Sometimes my lungs feel like they cannot draw enough air no matter how fast I breathe. It is not easy to be a good son, brother and friend to all those who are deserving.

Then… I look up at my family picture I have stuck on a shelf, and I remember why I am doing all this. I am renewed.

Running Thoughts

2011-08-13T12:02:00.001+08:00

Over ten years ago, in another life, I met a sweet looking girl, she was my classmate. She spoken and well-mannered, I remembered even till today how captivated I was by her mannerism and voice. She had an extremely unique voice, one I had never heard before and I will never hear again. Many years later I learned that she could also sing very well. Back then I was extremely shy around her, I had difficulties even talking to her and I could not hide the fact that I was totally smitten by her. Before long, stopped talking to her at all, everyone teased me mercilessly. I remembered how my heart raced and how my palms turned cold when I was calling her place, back then there wasn’t facebook or handphones for that matter. The first time I went out with her, it was a class affair. Most of my friends wanted to be informed, and I didn’t know what I was doing.

We started talking in public to each other 2 years later, and soon we were seeing each other almost every day. It wasn’t difficult considering we were from the same faculty and I have become braver in some ways. In my naivety, I was infatuated with her. I knew little about her but told myself that I loved her. I knew it was one sided, I knew nothing would come of it. So when our circumstances changed I left her life, knowing fully that I will not be missed. It was a lifetime ago, before NTU and before NS. There were a few gatherings over the years, but if she was going, I would not attend. Soon my friends realized it and left me out, and I was glad.

Today during my long distance run, I ran pass the spot where we parted so many years ago. It remained the same, the spot, but everything else has changed. The world has changed, the buildings have changed, even my heart has changed, but the stones did not. It was as if my whole world pivoted upon that spot as a fulcrum, giving strength to some areas of my life and dwarfing my efforts in other areas. I struggle to commit and I walk away easily. I remember once a girl told me that she doesn’t feel important to me because I go away so easily, when she cancel on me it would be many days before we talk again.

During the remainder of my run, I thought of the emotional baggage we all carry around. It is impossible to come of age without some sort of baggage, maturity cannot come without the destruction of innocence. Over the last few months I have come to terms that I too, like many others bear a weight. I will never let anyone affect me like that again, for all my days ahead I will be strong, for myself and those whom I love.

3 parallel thoughts

2011-08-12T09:36:00.001+08:00

I am now a final year student, a senior of sociology. That has a nice ring to it doesn’t it? This week marks the beginning of many things for many others, but for me it marks the beginning of the end. I have played out my undergrad life as I saw fit and I have no regrets, all the friends I did not make, ,the subjects I did not Ace and the reputation I have created for myself. If I had another try, I would do it no differently.

Looking around me, i sense the anxiety of my peers, a gaping unknown which lies before them. Am I more certain than them concerning my days to come? No, I am no more certain but yet I am infinitely surer than them. Why? Because I am honest, because I do not engage in acts spawned of ill intention, because I help all who ask for help to the limits of my strength without expecting reciprocity and my sole motivation is the fact that I can hence I should. What I ask of others, I demand from myself; this is one of my few guiding principles.

---

I was inspired to craft an entry today because a close friend of mine told me yesterday, that I only think that I am above many things, and that she doesn’t believe that I am in reality I am just like everyone else. In many ways, she was right, I do think that I am above many things and along that very same thread I feel that many things are beneath me. But she said it as if it was a bad thing, a negative thing to be above the petty and the cruel, a frivolous and childish. But she was also monstrously wrong; I am not like everyone else. I don’t like it when people deal with me by using absolutes, can’t they see that being absolute is limiting? Being absolute is to lose texture, colour and the spectrum of scent. If she only could listen what I am saying instead of simply hearing my words she would have understood. I told her that I make no apologies for the standards I expect from others and myself, her face hardens and I smile. I read her mind, she knows she does not meet my expectation her reactions towards me are merely attempts to tear me down to her level so that she will feel better about herself. She failed, like so many before her and the many more to come. Denial is the greatest enemy of reality.

---

I received a gift last night from a friend who spent the summer in East Africa, Kenya. It was an African Tribal Dagger, and it was sharp and quite real. I make a note to myself to keep it away from my parents least they stab each other when arguing. The scabbard was coated in a sheer of grey black fur of some sort, its thin blade reflects a nation in poverty and its sharp tip its desperation.

I admire her for the courage to spend a summer alone in Africa; she was not ignorant, she was fearful, courage in my book is the act of overcoming fear. Courage is so rare in girls… almost as rare as honesty in men.

The Chambers of the Human Heart

2011-08-11T11:38:00.002+08:00

Burning in the Skies

I used the deadwood to make the fire rise
The blood of innocence burning in the skies
I filled my cup with the rising of the sea
I poured it out in an ocean of debris

I'm swimming in the smoke
Of bridges I have burned
So don't apologize
I'm losing what I don't deserve

What I don't deserve

We held our breath when the clouds began to form
But you were lost in the beating of the storm
And in the end we were made to be apart
The seperate chambers of the human heart

Nooooooo!

It's in the blackened bones
Of bridges I have burned
So don't apologize
I'm losing what I don't deserve

What I don't deserve
I'm swimming in the smoke
Of bridges I have burned
So don't apologize
I'm losing what I don't deserve

The blame is mine alone
For bridges I have burned
So don't apologize
I'm losing what I don't deserve

I used the deadwood to make the fire rise
The blood of innocence burning in the skies

2011-08-01T09:37:00.003+08:00

Nothing lasts forever,

Even cold November Rain

~ Guns and Roses

Pain is temporary.

It may last a minute,

or an hour,

or a day,

or a year,

but eventually it will subside

and something else will take its place.

If i quit however,

it lasts forever

~ Lance Armstrong

This is the last week of last summer break of my undergraduate life. I had an amazing summer, i traveled, i have gotten to know myself better, i have read books i never thought i would read, honed my stand up routine, gone for courses and had my mind opened to new and exciting ideas.

but,

I failed to achieve a few goals this summer, I failed to clear my IPPT, i failed to keep to my reading plan, i failed to register my company, failed to test my food product, failed to obtain a master copy of my smoking tee shirt... and i got thrown off track reading a book. There are many excuses i could have given myself, but i refuse to accept the excuses that i am thinking of right now. i will trade in those excuses for results. We never really fail, we only give up.

In a week's time i will embark upon my final year. A rather empty final year module wise, but packed academically speaking. I reckon 1st August to be a good date to make this resolution. In the next three months, i will attend to my formal commitments and i will clock in all which i failed to achieve these last three months. I want this entry to seared into my memory, how i did not achieve all that set out for and to remind myself why i should not give up.

This final year is crucial on many levels, but in essence it is a year to prepare, a final gap in my life to out into order the pieces of of my life before i assume the responsibilities i have been putting off for the last 6 years. Responsibilities as a son, a brother and an adult. i have much to prepare for.

Last evening, i brought my grandfather to the hospital again, this time he was warded for infection. As i stool there, look at the sleepy sleepy eyes of this ill old man. I felt the weight of the world bearing upon me, the weight of the years and days to come. Thoughts about the fragility of life, the passing of time, the hopes of the heart all were all flicked aside by the Pentecost of pain. All the great struggles of our small and short lives, regardless of magnitude or frequency are simple confrontations with our immediate pain.

I remembered the bird's eye view of Singapore, and thought about how a whole society is propelled forward by individuals overcoming their own small measure of pain.

I have spent years harnessing my mental facilities, forging a character of both caliber and clarity, control and inner strength. I am far from who i once was, but not yet where i need to be. More can be done.

Alone i stand against the onslaught, and alone i will stem the tide, for those i love, and all that i hold dear on this good earth... i will never yield.

Convocation Week '11

2011-07-29T11:37:00.000+08:00

This week is convocation week. Over the last few days my facebook updates were vivid with pictures of my friends in their convocation gowns. Everyone was beaming, smiling, posing with parents, friends and even with their professors. A momentous occasion, a capping stone, convocation serves many as a conclusion to their many years of education. Knighted for all to see; family and friends alike witness their ascension into the ranks of society.

I remembered when I was a recruit in the army I looked forward to my passing out parade. That was the parade which marked the end of my Basic Military Training, after which I would be a private. On the eve of the parade, everyone was happy, everyone was looking forward to their parents coming to pick them up and leave Pulau Tekong, one of my bunkmate was even running around the room shouting “POP LOR”. I was no different, I could not wait to be posted out, I touched my shaved head and thought that I am finally allowed to let my hair grow. But, I made the mistake of thinking that POP was the end. Every single Singaporean male can relate to what I just said. POP was not the end of our life as a recruit, I went from being a recruit to being a trainee and I went from section to syndicate. I had to do all that I did and more, and failure did not always mean push ups.

Looking at my facebook wall, I saw small thumbnails of gowns and hats, bears and flowers. But I felt the void, those who are missing from the pictures. Some of those who are reading this, have graduated and are still jobless, and deep in debt, some of those reading this are feeling lost because after a lifetime of being told what to do next, they are suddenly told to choose their path themselves, some of those reading this are in love and know that they cannot get married because they literally cannot afford to live the life they so rightly deserve.

Convocation is indeed a milestone is all of our lives, but it is just that, a milestone, not a finishing line. It does not mark the end of learning, it does not mark the end of honest hard work, it does not mark the end of effort, and it does not mark the end of friendship. It only means that we still have to do all that we do mentally in school, but consequences of failure are that much greater. It means that a bad presentation does not mean that you lost that 10%, but that year’s bonus or that HDB downpayment. It means greater accountability, greater responsibility, greater expectation without necessarily greater rewards.

Allow me to offer my congratulations for overcoming this great hurdle. But it is only a hurdle, one in a series, it is not the end but the beginning. You have achieved the dream your parents had for you when you were born, people who gave up so much so that we can have the life they never had. But please remember, today is not about you or me, it’s about all those who were working behind the scene to give us the best footing to begin the greatest struggle of our existence, the struggle to live a honourable life.

Good Luck Everyone.

Vernon's Nietzsche

2011-07-26T22:19:00.004+08:00

After some exposure to Nietzsche’s work, I can understand his appeal, and his sacrifice. Nietzsche said that if one were to seek happiness, seek faith, and if where to seek truth, one must keep looking. To be ever changing, always evolving, ceaseless in change was a preamble to his Übermensch, the over man, a man who will overcome his surroundings, his God, and achieve freedom, a Godless freedom, a freedom from duty.

Nietzsche’s sacrifice was to me quite questionable, was a really a sacrifice? Or was his philosophy an attempt to manage his pain? His world was Godless, he saw his father, a man of God, suffer and die, without God, how could he have justified his suffering. His radical statement, “it is best not to have been born, and if one is born, it would be best if one dies quickly”. There was no doubt concerning his brilliance, but his premises are not perfect. His disregard for women, calling them stupid and childlike, no doubt influenced by Schopenhauer, his selfishness, he believes that the lay are beyond salvation, that he cannot flourish in their midst. He rather stays silent in their presence than try to influence their thoughts. A true hermit can remain alone even in the midst of people, such a man is Nietzsche.

Nietzsche considers philosophy as the summit of the entire scientific pyramid, it only collectively separated from science in the minds of the masses when it posed the question, what kind of knowledge of the world and life is it through which man can life the happiest (Nietzsche H.A.T.H). Knowledge like everything else in our known universe is not homogenous. There are different forms and typologies of knowledge. If one desires to seek truth, or even be able to comprehend the various truths, one must be aware of the taxonomies involved. It is at this juncture the intellectual lends her insight to the lay. One must pursue and prove that which is necessary, towards a greater truth, towards freedom. What is the point of proving a metaphysical world? It is certain that knowledge of it would be the most useless of all knowledge, more useless than knowledge of the chemical composition of water must be to the sailor in danger of a shipwreck (Nietzsche HATA). Knowing what to look for is far more crucial than the act and effort of looking.

The lay who takes appearance as reality, paradigms as Truth, they are as Nietzsche calls them, worshippers of the form. They are blind, because their eyes have not yet discovered the charm of the simplest form, hence they thoughtlessly imitate old forms, and not engaged in rigorous thinking. They have made a serious occupation out of the spinning out of forms and symbols (Nietzsche H.A.T.H).

These forms and symbols are reified by the effervescence of the masses, forged into the belief that they are Truth, and from this belief that the truth has been found out of which the mightiest sources of energy have flowed. Temples of Consumerism to Shrines of Distraction, man create a world to lose himself within, men became lōtophagoi themselves.

Within the madness that has come to take the place of normalcy, duty sneaks in insidiously. That which fetters the fastest, especially in the case of men of a high and select kind, are their duties. Duties to family, country and to Love shackle the moral and intellectual. Why? Because those who are truly intellectual are inevitably moral, to be intellectual is to be at the pinnacle of morality.

However, petty intellectuals stumble over a common pebble. Kant postulates that understanding does not come from nature, it is prescribed to nature. They make the mistake of morality. Morality must be guided by Reason, and through reason we will overcome and become the Übermensch. We as a species must empower ourselves, it is our future that regulate our today. We must live in the future in our heads so that we can find rigor in our bodies today. Reason guides morals, morals guide actions, actions shape reality.

I never expected you to know, i only expected you to ask...

2011-07-23T15:33:00.003+08:00

Your eyes betray your smile,

Your smile betray your heart

and your heart betray your thoughts

----

when i held your hand,

it was not because i thought that the spaces

between your fingers was bothering you

----

What you ask of others,

you must demand it of yourself

----

What you cannot tolerate from others,

you must purge it from yourself

----

What it means to let go?

2011-07-22T11:28:00.004+08:00

Why we all must learn to let go

When I am dead, I want people to remember me based on three things. How I lived, how I loved and how I learned to let go. Today when I woke up, I felt that I needed to explain what I mean by letting go.

Letting go of our past and our pain does not mean forgetting them. Forgetting is not something that we do, it is something that happens to us. I cannot will myself to forget any more than I can will myself to remember. All of us, we are the residue of our experiences, whether we remember them or not, whether can articulate them or not. It is paramount that we do not forget where we come from, those who have left indelible footprints in our lives for they all contribute to who and what we are today. Letting go does not mean that we forget, because if somehow we are reminded we would then be at the mercy of our pain once again. This way we can never truly let go. Letting go does not mean that we forget, it means we accept that the past is the past, and start to dream about tomorrow. Letting go means does not mean that we forget, it means that the episode in our lives, no matter how deep or how long it has lasted, no longer has any impact on our present selves.

After we let go, we move on. As long as I continue to hold on to my past, I cannot move on to greener pastures. I deny myself all the goodness of a future that is so real for a silver of memory.

I have had many negative experiences, I have lied, cheated and stole, lost friends from lying, betrayed the trust of those who loved me, have been walked out on, walked away from a crying face. After every single episode I felt a regret, a great remorse, but I take a deep breath and tell myself that I must strong, let go and move on.

Because I don’t want my tombstone to say

“Here lies Vernon, who could not let go”

Why i don't like people crying.

2011-07-20T00:22:00.003+08:00

Once she asked me if I have written anything about her. I told her that I refrain from writing about her because as far as my world is concern she does not exist. That was not the whole truth. But that is for another day. The truth of the matter is that we have come to share a great friendship, one which I treasure and hold dear to my heart, which is why the tears that stream down her face pools at the base of my heart like a cauldron of acid.

I do not know when she will read this, will she ever read this, or whether we will ever talk about this. But it is inconsequential to me, I write to the void not to her.

Sometimes, communication with this particular girl is vexing. The pain of her past has rendered her ability to be frank and direct anaemic. Her immaculate vocabulary reflects surgical precision concerning syntax and context, which she uses to express herself in the written form, via blog entries, essays and smses. Her words are are mirror, sword and shield all that the same time. Hence my motivation for penning his entry, I literally cannot speak to her face to face. When provoked, her essence will retract back into an armour she needs not don in my presence, but she dons it out of habit nonetheless, pain showing on her face, fear in her eyes. My heart weakens at such a display of vulnerability, and I reflexively back off.

It is my personal belief that souls are made of tears, cry too much and soon we will become lost to emotions and our souls would have been vaporized. I hope that this entry will squelch her reasons to shed tears, ambitious I know, considering she might never read this.

This evening we exchanged a few messages. Embedded within the rants and complains, she subliminally expresses the state of affairs of her family, how the piercing words of her brother wounded her, amongst other issues. In and by itself, the message is innocent. For no family is perfect, and no home unshakable. However, in one of her responses she mentioned how a new day would revitalize her. I never believe we should let the sun set on an argument nor should any one go to bed in tears. This is the second time she mentioned some sort of euphemism for renewal with nothing by the passage of time as the cocoon, and the new sun to break the chrysalis . Time heals all wounds, but they leave terrible scars, scars so disfiguring that they impede the mobility of those wounded. Do not believe that time change people, that is poppycock , people change people.

With this small itch at the back of my mind, I went to read her blog, and as I expected there was a short entry regurgitating an even more ambiguous version of her state of being then what was mentioned during our sms correspondence. She shared how her heart was broken and how she cried. How could those around her not see her pain I wonder? The home is the last place we should be putting up an act, one does not wear armour in one’s castle.

I bit my bottom lip as I read of her sorrow, for the tears of those whom I hold dear pains me.

No one can make you feel lousy, meek or small without your permission. But anyone can make you feel strong and powerful without even you knowing it. Select your memories, select what you want to be notable in your life, words only have impact on you if the person speaking them have a hold over you. Their opinion only matters if they matter.

The person you will be in the years to come are affected by 3 things, the books you read, the people you meet and the memories you choose to keep. Calibrate these elements and you will realize your fullest potential, and become a woman as women should be.

You bear a solitary burden only because you choose to bear it alone, not because you have to.

周杰倫 - 蒲公英的约定

2011-07-18T12:28:00.002+08:00

与你聊不完的曾经
而我已经分不清　
你是友情还是错过的爱情

now that's song writing...

Soul Blindness

2011-07-18T11:54:00.000+08:00

You would know the desire has left your body when all you can feel for a person is pure affection. It is indeed a strange feeling, when all of society, the entire world continuously feed you the idea that without desire, love will fizzle out. But is affection not the very fuel of humanity? Desire and lust are but the sparks, you cannot sustain a bonfire with sparklers.

When people meet, it is without a doubt a meeting of bodies. The acknowledgement of the existence of another cannot even compare to even an iota to the awareness of another. An exquisite sensation, awareness is. Mortality for example, death shadows life, our every second of life is made more precious simply because it might be our last. When we are aware of death, we become acutely aware of life. When bodies meet, they touch and soon the touch is forgotten, lost in the sea of sensations to come. The meeting of souls will leave an indelible mark in the lives of all involved. In a shallow world, a world of the visual and the carnal, we have come to lose the ability to see each other’s soul. Our eyes pick up the light, our ears pick up the vibrations in the air, but we cannot really hear and we cannot really see those who we are talking to. Hence, we are soul blind. Souls are not ghostly apparitions, intangibles spectres floating in space, Souls are who we are under what we seem to be, and we have become blind to that.

When souls meet, when they can hear and see each other, a strange thing happens. One’s empirical senses become dull, one loses the ability to see the physical flaws, the face, the hair, the poverty. A light in the dark and blind world, a beacon of hope and source of warmth; such is the foundation of friendship and the cornerstone of love.

Every single one of us walk around with a mask over our face to protect our pride, to protect our hearts, we erect walls of steel and stone. Coupled with the soul blindness of the world, is it of little wonder why relationships are so superficial.

But all is not lost. When you meet someone, when bodies meet, a dance ensues. A parry of words, and an exchange of ideas later, the acid corrodes away the masks leaving naked pride. During the vanguard, bodies try to keep the masks on; now during the aftermath souls are ripping away the walls of stone and steel.

There are two groups of people in our lives. With one group, we plan and execute elaborate schemes to keep ourselves protected from them, to keep locked down our deepest insecurities and our most sincere dreams. To the other group, we think of ways to show them our deepest insecurities and most sincere dreams. Why? Because happiness is multiplied and sadness divided when shared with those we love.

The foundation of all love should be good friendship. Parents, siblings, and lovers are no exception. We are born into families, but we choose the families we create. Deep mutual respect, open and honest communication and a clear vision for the future are important elements in a good relationship.

… to be continued

Touch

2011-07-02T12:31:00.006+08:00

As we grow up we touch less. When I was much younger, most afternoons after school it out I would fight with my peers behind the school stage, we touched, even thought it was fists and kicks. I had a line up partner, she was the shortest girl in my class and I was the shortest boy in my class. I was a late bloomer, in some ways I guess I still am. We had to hold hands and strangely I do not remember ever feeling awkward. Even during dance lessons, our bodies touched freely like sexless little people. Society’s spell on us children is still being channelled, it’s enchantment still incomplete.

As our socialization process ossify in our minds, our body parts and those of others become enchanted. We are told and taught explicitly and implicitly many reasons why we should not behave in this way or that. We over read gestures and under value intentions out of fear of misunderstanding, but can one really misunderstand affection or concern? Invisible barriers become erected between each other, soon before long even when the tip of my toe bump into her shin I apologize, as if I broke some part of her, as if I somehow injured her self-worth.

I guess that’s why we seek intimacy with another, I would like to believe that the desire for physical contact is both animal as well as human, or the dualism unnecessary? We seek to hug and kiss without reason, hold hands and embrace freely without needing to ask permission. I used to believe when people interlock fingers was nature's way to sync pulses of two people. To feel the heartbeat of another against our chest reminds us that we are not alone in this world and should we disappear we will be missed, is there anything else we could desire?

2011-06-29T18:14:00.001+08:00

It’s Not About You

By DAVID BROOKS

Published: May 30, 2011

Over the past few weeks, America’s colleges have sent another class of graduates off into the world. These graduates possess something of inestimable value. Nearly every sensible middle-aged person would give away all their money to be able to go back to age 22 and begin adulthood anew.

But, especially this year, one is conscious of the many ways in which this year’s graduating class has been ill served by their elders. They enter a bad job market, the hangover from decades of excessive borrowing. They inherit a ruinous federal debt.

More important, their lives have been perversely structured. This year’s graduates are members of the most supervised generation in American history. Through their childhoods and teenage years, they have been monitored, tutored, coached and honed to an unprecedented degree.

Yet upon graduation they will enter a world that is unprecedentedly wide open and unstructured. Most of them will not quickly get married, buy a home and have kids, as previous generations did. Instead, they will confront amazingly diverse job markets, social landscapes and lifestyle niches. Most will spend a decade wandering from job to job and clique to clique, searching for a role.

No one would design a system of extreme supervision to prepare people for a decade of extreme openness. But this is exactly what has emerged in modern America. College students are raised in an environment that demands one set of navigational skills, and they are then cast out into a different environment requiring a different set of skills, which they have to figure out on their own.

Worst of all, they are sent off into this world with the whole baby-boomer theology ringing in their ears. If you sample some of the commencement addresses being broadcast on C-Span these days, you see that many graduates are told to: Follow your passion, chart your own course, march to the beat of your own drummer, follow your dreams and findyourself. This is the litany of expressive individualism, which is still the dominant note in American culture.

But, of course, this mantra misleads on nearly every front.

College grads are often sent out into the world amid rapturous talk of limitless possibilities. But this talk is of no help to the central business of adulthood, finding serious things to tie yourself down to. The successful young adult is beginning to make sacred commitments — to a spouse, a community and calling — yet mostly hears about freedom and autonomy.

Today’s graduates are also told to find their passion and then pursue their dreams. The implication is that they should find themselves first and then go off and live their quest. But, of course, very few people at age 22 or 24 can take an inward journey and come out having discovered a developed self.

Most successful young people don’t look inside and then plan a life. They look outside and find a problem, which summons their life. A relative suffers from Alzheimer’s and a young woman feels called to help cure that disease. A young man works under a miserable boss and must develop management skills so his department can function. Another young woman finds herself confronted by an opportunity she never thought of in a job category she never imagined. This wasn’t in her plans, but this is where she can make her contribution.

Most people don’t form a self and then lead a life. They are called by a problem, and the self is constructed gradually by their calling.

The graduates are also told to pursue happiness and joy. But, of course, when you read a biography of someone you admire, it’s rarely the things that made them happy that compel your admiration. It’s the things they did to court unhappiness — the things they did that were arduous and miserable, which sometimes cost them friends and aroused hatred. It’s excellence, not happiness, that we admire most.

Finally, graduates are told to be independent-minded and to express their inner spirit. But, of course, doing your job well often means suppressing yourself. As Atul Gawande mentioned during his countercultural address last week at Harvard Medical School, being a good doctor often means being part of a team, following the rules of an institution, going down a regimented checklist.

Today’s grads enter a cultural climate that preaches the self as the center of a life. But, of course, as they age, they’ll discover that the tasks of a life are at the center. Fulfillment is a byproduct of how people engage their tasks, and can’t be pursued directly. Most of us are egotistical and most are self-concerned most of the time, but it’s nonetheless true that life comes to a point only in those moments when the self dissolves into some task. The purpose in life is not to find yourself. It’s to lose yourself.

Friend

2011-06-26T02:44:00.000+08:00

The idea of a friend is a rather taken for granted one. We all assume to know what it means, but when we are pushed to articulate the concept, we can sometimes find that even a pair of best friends have different expectations of their friendship, or more specifically different degrees of commitment.

I will not be trying to exhaust the boundaries of friendship but I would like to add, for now, two settings, if I may, regarding friends. I personally believe one cannot offend one’s friend. One simply cannot, it is structurally not possible. Friendship, like all other meaningful relationships must be two sided. Idolizing some K pop singer is an example of an unmeaningful relationship. If you have come to accept an individual as your friend, you will never bear any ill intent or ill will against him/her. Your method might not be agreeable, but your intention will be pure. Hence you will not say things out of spite. You should strive to speak to warn, protect, encourage and to empower. Can you really bear to hold a well intended statement against your friend, no matter how crudely packaged and delivered? The recipient of the “offensive” statement, will know that such a statement is uttered out of concern, fear, or need to protect, and hence not be offended. Once your friendship is within grace, within each other’s grace, you will always give each other the benefit of the doubt. The key here is grace. Humans do not flourish under a climate of fear, not even under a climate of prosperity, we flourish under a climate of grace. Within a friendship enriched with grace, nothing one party would ever say could every offend the other. Many of us are already blessed to be sharing such a relationship with others, but we merely do not know the words to describe how we feel.

My next point is, within graceful friendships and other meaningful relationships, we cannot give anything away for free, that is to say they we cannot express an empty gesture within a graceful relationship. Within a graceful relationship the economy of emotion is not a zero sum economy. When one party gives, both parties gain. Every gesture of grace, enriches the bond, feeds the relationship, strengthen it so if and when a Draught of Time comes their bond will weather it and come out stronger…

If you were wondering what is my point is, here it is, my point is grace. A graceful friend is indeed hard to come by. Ghandi said that we should all strive to be the change we seek in the world. If we look around and find a lacking in grace, we should start with embodying grace and add to the pool.

It’s a truly exquisite feeling to be aware of the existence of another, to feel their existence as a sudden necessity, a feeling that is not shallow nor overbearing, merely final, like a conclusion to an endless question. Like stopping in your tracks and realizing that you have forgotten something. That is the feeling of awareness, that is what it means to not take someone for granted, that is the start of a graceful friendship.

Faculty to Ferment

2011-06-15T02:48:00.000+08:00

I do not consider myself chronologically old, chronological age but reflects the number of years one spent on earth. It might be some kind of gauge of character, but only a gauge nonetheless. As I meet more people over the course of my life, my faith in this gauge grow weaker. Personally, I believe that maturity can be best measured by acts. Words and beliefs are one thing, actions are another. If one were to uses acts to gauge the maturity of my generation then, we are indeed an immature generation. Shot gun marriages aside, we can find senseless job hoping, patronization of prostitutes, divorces, squandering of opportunities, and the list goes on. it saddens me, because I feel that those who are enlighten are bounded by some kind of moral inclination, an inclination to bring light into dark places, to guide, show and inspire those who were not so fortunate to be clearly, cognitively conscious.

Since there are an abundance of such displays of immaturity, I could conclude that the conscious are not fulfilling their moral inclination, either that those who are conscious are of such ineffective numbers that they are structurally swept along by institutional inertia. Indulge me, and assume that position that the conscious are not fulfilling their moral inclination to lead, guide and inspire those who are still seeking to fulfil false needs.

Before I move on, let me discuss the concept of cultural industry and the creation of false needs. I cannot take credit for this powerful perspective, it was Adorno and Horkheimer who popularize this idea. The idea that modern capitalism creates via the media and the new institutions false needs, that is capitalism both creates and satisfies these false needs. True needs, postulated by Adorno and Horkheimer are the need for freedom, creativity, or even something so basic like genuine happiness. Simply based on the contrast we can spot some familiar needs, the need to be a part of a social group, the need to blend in, the need to beautiful, etc. capitalism then provides the tools, at a cost, to us to satisfy these needs. This mass enculturation threatens the pursuit of higher human qualities, if nothing else, the grounds of sheer lack of mental fitness. One of the characteristic of mass culture is its low barrier to entry, one need little intellectual labour to gain access to mass culture. Mass culture tends to be easily digestible, homogenous, short lived, easily repeatable and instantly gratifying. Instant gratification is what I personally feel is one of the main contributing factors impeding greater human realization.

A great man sacrifices the present for the future whereby a normal man sacrifices the future for the present. I contextualize this statement against the backdrop of gratification. Maths for example, when taught to children at a young age will almost always be faced with resistance. Maths is not instantly gratifying, it is not immediately useful in our lives. The tempered and steeled mind would lend great insight to a person, but this genre of gratification is many years away from the first 1+1 maths question the child learn to solve. Having a tempered and steeled mind is enormously gratifying, but such a concept would be difficult to grasp in a world of instant downloads and instant messaging. As a society, we are increasingly losing the faculty to ferment our thoughts and ideas. Not everything can be made instant, and not everything instant is necessarily better. Technology has a big part to play in this, I need not elaborate here. Once we lose this faculty to ferment, we lose a valuable channel to true human needs and realizations. To plan meaningful goals, to make sacred commitments to our communities and those we love and those we will one day come to love, these concepts are jeopardized by the culture of our times.

The culture of The Instant, fuelled the technologies of capitalism, given form by the cultural industries, spread by the media and enforced by our peers seduces us into giving up tomorrow for today by eroding our faculty to ferment thoughts; reading, writing, thinking objectively, creatively and independently.

If you are still reading at this point, you already have a greater attention span than the 55 characters generation, there is still hope for us.

I am privileged to have been able to pursue an intellectual discipline, to have been made aware of my ignorant self. 10 years ago, I thought I was a full cup, both my mind and my heart were full. Through my academic discipline I was made to realize that my full cup was in the middle of an empty swimming pool. My consciousness came at a price, a price not everyone is willing to pay, I lost the comfort knowing to gain the discomfort of inadequacy. The only constant is change, but what are we changing into?

Bubbles are made of Moments

2011-06-08T10:03:00.002+08:00

Weekday mornings are distinct from those during the weekends in many ways, one of the distinction is the working crowd. The mass of faceless zombies trickling from HDB flats to the entrances of MRT stations like so many ants to a piece of candy on the cement floor, dressed in impractical attire like heels for climbing stairs and long sleeve shirts in a temperate climate, finishing off the look with a set of in-bud ear phones, a small and feeble attempt to create a private space within the mad squeeze that is the public transport system.

This morning, on my way downstairs enroute to breakfast with my family I took the same lift with a couple. They are a middle aged Singaporean Chinese couple, the wife would be dressed in “office wear”, and her husband would be dressed casually in polo tee and brown kakis. Of last 4 encounters I have had with them, we did not exchange a single word, more interestingly neither did they exchange a single word with each other. From the door of their flat all the way to their car which was quite a distance away, they were silent and unsmiling. Was I stalking them, nope, I was walking behind them all the way during those encounters because their car way along the path I would normally take.

The husband had a look on his face I can only interpret as a man who is unwillingly executing his duty, and his wife had a look which looked to me like someone who felt that she could have done better but settled for something much below what she could have achieved. Even after they drove off in their Hyundai, I kept trying to imagine what the other spheres of their life together are like. They must surely have a terrible sex life. It’s a crying shame I feel, for a relationship between two people, especially a marriage during this time and age to deteriorate into passive duty towards each other and their children. A sense of duty must be present of course, but it should not be the only thing keeping their relationship intact. When queried why a couple is still married, the answer should not be that it is too much hassle to get a divorce.

Are they so stretched by the vicissitudes of life that they lost interest in each other? Or are they so utterly bored of each other and know each other so well that they can function optimally without talking to each other. No more, “Good morning/night”, “Thank you’s/ your welcome”, “see you later” or “I love you”, a relationship void of words is often a relationship void of affections. Acts of service can only go so far. This couple, in my opinion is wasting their opportunities with each other. There are many who would have to go to great lengths just to hear each other’s voice, or feel their touch. But this couple allowed the mundane to rust away their affections, silence to wedge them apart. They might sleep in the same bed, but their hearts are literally worlds apart.

Sleeping together in the same room provides a unique opportunity in our conservative Asian society. We get to start and end our day beside each other, so even regardless of how busy each of our lives are we still have those first and last waking moments together, quiet bubbles of time together. How we choose to use those moments is of course a completely different issue. I would like to believe that when one wakes up beside one’s spouse, he is reminded of his promise and the reason for facing the challenges and difficulties ahead and when he goes to bed after work and he sees her smile, he knows that it was all worth it (vice versa my feminist readers).

We all need a reason, we all seek meaning is our lives. So when you have found yours don’t take it for granted. Silence erodes relationships as much as words of affection and gratitude nourish them.

That couple is not a unhappy couple for sure, but they are not exactly happy together from the looks of it, and that is a terrible way to describe a marriage.

Character Catalouge

2011-06-05T04:00:00.001+08:00

Jason is a mechanic, and one day his flushing system was faulty. Believing himself to be a hands-on person he tried to fixed the toilet by himself. He spent 4 hours rectifying the problem but to no avail, he finally gave in and calling in a professional plumber. The plumber came, spent 5 minutes questioning Jason and another 5 minutes changing a washer and the problem was solved. He asked Jason for $100 for the service, the stunned Jason ask how can he charge $100 for 10mins of work. The plumber looked Jason in the eye and said that he was not paying for his 10 minutes but his 5 years of experience that enabled him to solve the problem in 10mins.

The moral of the story is not how experience acts as a multiplier factor when we interface with Life, but subtle aspect of differentiating experience. Experiences, or as Kant would have it, “representations” and “apprehension” are not equal in value or purpose, contextually speaking. Our different perspectives, opportunities, cultural baggage etc, etc all add to the quantity, but more importantly the quality of our experiences. However, due to a myriad of reasons such as education, exposure, peer influences our experiences might not be optimally ordered to aid us most efficiently.

Few of us know what we want, but many of us know what we don’t want. I personally believe humans to be pain avoiding creatures, as opposed pleasure seeking creatures. Think about it, would you run faster at the end leg of a marathon for the promise of an ice cream or give up the ice cream and walk hence instantly stopping the pain in your legs? Hence based on that thread of reasoning, I believe we keep a much better organized catalogue of things we don’t like as compare to things we like. The twist here is how do we know what we don’t want if we have never experienced it, part of it confluxes with the eternal tussle between youths and their elders, the weathered old man and the wild young boy. But… I digress, back to the issue of the catalogue, and I shall contextualize it against the backdrop of social relations since everyone can relate to relations with people.

As we undergo the test of time, we collect and compile the results and what we all inadvertently end up with is a robust catalogue of characteristics we are not comfortable with or even down right despise. A matrix would be formed in our heads, that is to say that one might tolerate a particular characteristic in a friend but not in one’s spouse for example, this “Character Catalogue” is multi-dimensional. This character catalogue is unfortunately, framed negatively. That is to say, we would be able to list more characteristics we detest as compare to those we find enduring. Hence the majority of us are fault finders, stereotypical, judgemental or even blatantly discriminating.

This is a self defence mechanism to protect us from pain and hurt, rather than the procurement of pleasure. Which is why I reckon people who have a more robust Character Catalogues would be more discerning when it comes to establishing relationships. Why we have 10years or more friendships with people whom we might not even exchange more than pleasantries to if we were to be introduced to them today, I feel this is the reason. When our Catalogue was short, non-exhaustive, we were more accommodating, less judgemental, we love freely, share our moments easily, our relationships would be more textured and varied, we accepted them even when they were not perfect and over time they have proven themselves to be stellar friends. But with a black catalogue, our subconscious steer us away from imaginary “potential” hurt and pain, and before we know it we are surrounded by people who are almost exactly like ourselves. Deceived by self constructed social proof, we falsely feel secure in our similarities and become stubborn (“that’s me or that’s how I do things”) in our ways.

Imagine if we were to frame and channel this catalogue positively. Seek out the good in people, accept that they are not perfect, just like we ourselves are not perfect. Have a list of positive qualities we hope to achieve and surround ourselves with people who are imbued with such positive characteristics. By doing this we create the pain of being surrounded by people who are better than ourselves, and being pain avoiding, our sub-consciousness would spur better ourselves. Positive pain, it’s the kind of pain in your legs after a good training session, the kind of pain which tells us that we are growing and becoming stronger.

Jason and the plumber had different skill sets, different repertoire. But one set was more relevant than the other when it came to fixing the plumbing. Each one of us have our own character catalogues, but some catalogues are more robust, better consolidated, and more relevant to leading a wholesome, enriching and all rounded life. Generate the positive pain today. ;)

Girl Guide 4: A single rose blooms while a garden withers

2011-04-09T13:33:00.001+08:00

Why do we wither?

We are all but nodes in the web of social relations. Our links to other persons are varied in both intensity as well as frequency. I personally believe that it we should measure our happiness by the quality of social relations in our lives not by the quantity of relations.

But alas, the human mind and body are sensitive to differentials, not absolutes. The emotions we feel are more intense towards those who are closer to us, as compared to those who are on the outskirts of our consciousness. The intensity of a single link would outshine the other links, causing them to pale in comparison, and render its loss unnoticeable. Many a girl, or a guy for that matter, once they have found themselves a partner, jettison their friends, unconsciously purging them out of their lives by denying them quality time. Without quality time, relationships cannot grow, sometimes they even wither. But the node in question, drunk on pheromones and driven by hormones does not feel the withering of the garden, for her gaze was fixated on a single, perfect flower. Unfortunately, we are distracted by that which holds our attention, over time this fixation would cause a weak minded person to lose perspective; priority and weightages shift arbitrarily, eyes glaze over and hearts soften.

A garden cannot be made beautiful by a single flower, no matter how beautiful. A life cannot be made meaningful by a single person, no matter how perfect. When the daze has cleared, and the heat of passion has faded we awake to a withered garden.

We must not forget the people in our lives, those who were with us when we were down, those who would stand aside when we are rising so we would get more of the light. How do we honour our friends? We honour them not with great speeches and awards; we honour them best with our time. Time is the most precious resource, money cannot buy more time, and none of us know how much time we actually have. How better to honour those who love us then by offering them our most precious resource. Such is the fertilizer for all deep and meaningful relationships.

Why do we clamour for attention of others? We do so because we are not certain of it, because we are not certain of the supply, we clamour because we are insecure of ourselves. Be alas, we confuse the cause for the effect. Being self secure will draw the attention of others, being sure footed will ensure a steady following. Being needy and attention seeking will drive others away.

Two incomplete persons cannot make one whole. Two insecure persons cannot give each other security. Strive first to be complete person, and seek a complementing partner and together both will enrich each other’s lives and not simply attempt to fill an insecure gap.

A Rainbow Dream

2011-03-28T11:21:00.003+08:00

A Rainbow Dream

Yesterday even i was very blessed to have been able to behold the most perfect rainbow I have ever seen in my life. It was the largest, most defined and colourful I have ever seen with my own two eyes. The rainbow lasted only 5 minutes, and I stood there the whole time. The sheer beauty nature was able to command filled my heart and my mind. How can something so perfect be so brief? How can something so complex seem so simple? How can something seem so real to the sight be so fleeting to the touch?

In those five minutes, my mind was charged by the sight of the rainbow. Its arc left an indelible mark on all my thoughts. My thoughts started to speak to me about Plato and his Perfect Forms. Plato believes that everything in this world is a fallen form of something perfect. This perfected form exists outside of the human experience. To be human, is to be unable to experience this perfection. A world existing beyond ours, a world, where all that we can and ever would experience come from. A tinge of sadness started to creep out of a corner of my heart. Wastage always invoked strong feelings in me. To know that something that could have been, did not be but became something less than what it should be… constricted my heart constantly. Thoughts’ regarding the Limits of Reason saddens me, that we humans should be so blessed by reason and so cursed by emotions. This eternal conflict saw great waste in the lives of many of us.

If an orgasm were to be the most intense physical experience, then the most intense emotion would have to be love. Love, or madness depending on the context have been the cause of many great acts as well as many great failures. Love in its perfect form cannot be captured by language. Language in its lacking dissects the perfect form into smaller categories. Since I also use language, I must also yield to this flaw. I could discuss equally regarding anger, sadness or worry, but I rather discuss the most extreme emotion.

Infatuation is a splinter off the tree of love. Infatuation is not even a branch of love, a mere splinter. Once this splinter takes hold on one’s mind, once it has embedded itself into one’s thoughts. It will drive one mad without question. Hopefully because the madness consumed one-self, realty would have pulled it out and return oneself to sanity. Love is undistinguishable from madness. The chariot of passion is pulled by the twin steeds of insanity. It is this madness that gives passion its fire, its intensity.

What lies at the end of the rainbow? What lies at the ends of our actions and our thoughts? Will we follow the rainbow only to have it fade away just as we are approaching the end? Our emotions are very much like the rainbow, fleeting, inconsistent and ephemeral. We should navigate the seas of our lives with the help of the timeless stars, the rising and setting sun. Our hopes should be built upon the bedrock of reason and not the shifting sands of stray thoughts.

Steady your hands, grip tightly on your rudder and stay true to yourself, least you find yourself pursuing a Rainbow Dream.

Girl Guide 3: Why you should not play hard to get.

2011-03-19T18:53:00.001+08:00

An Inch away

Self-worth can be a contentious subject to discuss. We all pitch ourselves at different levels, depending on factors like age, gender, appearance, etc.

Before we get any further let us list our some premises and assumptions. In the current order of things, the onus is on the guy to take the initiative to bridge the gap and break the ice. Some might find this idea reasonable, some might find this old fashioned, but this will be the point of departure were I will balance this entry. People develop differently and at different speeds depending on their environment and peers. Passivity does not mean inaction, passivity is not a lack of action, it is a state of mind, and one can hold your hand passively.

Girls rarely would want to seem too eager or overly interested in a guy. There can be a myriad of reasons behind this, and sometimes we ourselves are not aware of the reasons or are unable to articulate them. But I will not be so bold as to try and guess the reasons girls might have for playing hard to get, I am not trying to give an answer, I am trying to ask a question. Actions or inactions such as, not replying a sms immediately, giving a maybe answer when she already wanted to say yes, etc. Sometimes, girls brand themselves as passive, hence they rationalize their behaviour to be acceptable. This mode of thinking will lead to a crime of wastage. The world has developed in such a way that we have come to be responsible for many things in our lives. We don’t get assigned our dream jobs, we don’t randomly answer our exams questions. We send out countless resumes, psych ourselves up for interviews, studying voraciously for exams. But why would you sit behind him in class and stare at his back, walk pass his cubical at work and say nothing? To leave things up to luck and chance is not just an act of passivity, its downright irresponsible. We are not responsible for the circumstances deal to us, but we are responsible for the play of our own happiness.

Changing gears, I will put forth the perspective of the guy. Simply put, playing hard to get creates an impression of not only of what the girl thinks of herself, but also her perspective on the relationship she as with the guy, how much she values his time, how much she take him for granted, how serious she feels about herself and other guys.

Depending on what phase of life you are in, you will meet different grades of guys. We have the childish, insecure teenager, the dreamer early 20s, the grounded late 20s, the conscious 30 year old, etc. I am generalizing of course, but the fact that guys are men and men are guys at different stages of their lives. This phase construction is based on age, but not determined by it, the circumstances are the determining factors of growth in my opinion.

By the time boys become men, and take on any worthwhile form, they would have already laid the foundations of their personalities. They would and should have grounded their thoughts, calibrated the loci of their self-worth, and learned how to channel their resources. In short, they would be busy. Of course not all men fall into this category, most are still growing into this mould even into their 30s.

By the time a guy becomes worthwhile in anyway. He would have captured the attention of more than just you. You might know him or of both of you might be strangers, it does not matter. What matters is that he has come within reach. It takes less effort to reply a sms than to turn a door knob. Will you turn it or turn away?

The Measure of a Man

2011-03-03T00:06:00.000+08:00

A man is as great as the dreams he dreams,
as great as the love he bears;

As great as the values he redeems,
and the happiness he shares.

A man is as great as the thoughts he thinks,
as the worth he has attained;

As the fountains at which his spirit drinks,
and the insight he has gained.

A man is as great as the truth he speaks,
as great as the help he gives,

As great as the destiny he seeks,
as great as the life he lives.

Bicycle

2011-03-03T00:03:00.001+08:00

Love is like a bicycle,
if you are willing to go through learning how to ride it
then you could ever go by yourself

if not,
then you are better off dumping it
and walking alone

Art in real life

2011-03-02T23:52:00.003+08:00

What we experience is but

a shadow of the Forms,

always lacking, always inferior

I felt privileged to have been able to attend a rather intellectually simulating seminar on Nude Art. Spearheading the seminar professor Eli Barta, PHD in Philosophy and a pair of collective art practitioners. Interestingly, my main personal takeaway from this seminar had nothing to do with nudes or with sex. It had got to do with universal values.

The professor radically disagreed with Vertical Submarine (the pair of artists) regarding their stance in doing art collectively. Vertical Submarine argues that by doing art collectively, anonymously, they can transcend concepts like gender, class, sexuality, etc,etc, to focus on higher, universal qualities like equality, truth, freedom, love (in all its forms). But Barta challenged them arguing that they are not transcending but hiding or sweeping under these categories. She argued beautifully saying that there are no “human beings” walking the streets, there are men, women, students, workers, but no human beings. The idea of human being is rather useless to us due to an absence of other intelligent life. We merely adopt an identity out of our repertoire according to our social setting; only one identity is germane at any one time. If you are single on Valentine’s Day, that’s your identity for that day. Universal ideas per se are also not useful as they are by and large out of reach of mankind. An ideal to strive for, but essentially does not exist on earth.

I am not so naïve as to believe that we can sustain perfect ideals on earth. But, does it mean that we should all give up and lie, cheat and steal? Is altruism madness? Is compassion for non-kin silly? I disagree.

We can never attain and sustain the perfect form as Plato puts it, we live in a world that it merely a reflection of the Forms. But when we try and strive towards it, we sometimes catch a glimpse of it. I argue that when it comes to “universal qualities”, the focus or the loci should be on the process, the experience and triumphs. Be reminded that the ideal, the concept per se is but an ideological construct, its one thing to be called generous but another thing to skip a meal and donate that amount to charity.

Courage is a good example. Courage is born of fear. Courage is not the absence of fear. The absence of fear is fearlessness, or stupidity, depending on the outcome of the conflict. You are courageous only if you find the strength within to overcome some fear, the process of overcoming. The same can be said for love, hope, compassion, etc. These higher ideas in my opinion are what make us human. As physical beings we are tabula rasa, blank slates, blank canvas. These proximate ideas are the paint, the moments are the brush strokes, the wider the spectrum of colors, the greater number of brush strokes makes for a deeper and richer painting, a closer to perfect person. It is true that there are no perfect people, just like there are no perfect paintings, but we can improve and how we improve is by striving towards these impossible ideals. Do we want to die a blank canvas?

Every time I am lucky enough to catch a passing shadow of some higher quality, it excites and encourages me. Reminds me that there are things worth fighting for, and sometimes worth dying for.

Why experience is not important

2011-02-28T22:09:00.002+08:00

Potential

Ever sat down with someone to discuss a common experience only derive an almost polar opposite interpretation of it? How can it be that two persons can observe or experience the “same” thing and yet have such different takeaways?

On this premise, I will argue that experience is the least important thing we should concern ourselves with at the beginning. What we actually should be focusing on, both on ourselves as well as our children is the cultivation of Ethnical Integrity. Let me list out the 5 tiers in their order of importance.

Ethnical Integrity, motivation, capacity, knowledge and lastly experience

Let’s break it down. First, ethnical integrity, integrity here can be understood as a state of being. Like wet, dry, broken or intact. To have an integrity problem is to say that one’s core being is somewhat compromised in such a manner which renders one’s disposition somewhat inconsistent. Let us not forget that even thieves have their own form of integrity. Integrity alone and by itself is amoral. Hence the need to give it an orientation, hence the concept of ethnical, that is to say, that whatever ethnic a person subscribe to, be it Weber’s idea of the Mature man, incorporating Conviction and responsibility, or Kantian ideas of reason, that person should and must maintain an “ethnical stable stance” during the course of the person’s life.

Once one has picked the set of ethnics which will be the guiding force of his life, one should be steadfast, only allowing alteration which stems from episodes of self-reflection and ever weary of the introduction of induced input of unguided circumstances.

Once the course vector has been calibrated, the velocity needs to be verified. The inner turbine needs to be driven. A reservoir must be allowed to accumulate. Progressive training, a disciplined mind, positive reinforcement, encouragement and other such social conduits are the streams which help channel energy into this reservoir of self-confidence, held back by the dam of ethnical integrity. When unleashed upon the turbines of oneself, the self-confidence would be channelled into a great self motivational force which would be directed into the capacitors of one’s life.

With a stable stream of motivation held behind a dam forged of steadfast ethnical integrity, no task would seem too daunting, no challenge too great. One’s capacity would only stretch, and one’s potential would be limitless, because with the reservoir at one’s back, trees becomes twigs, pools become puddles. The capacity to learn would be insatiable, the thirst unquenchable. What is the capacity for, it’s to create a vacuum, to render you aware of a void and spark a desire to acquire knowledge.

Once capacity has been cultivated, learning seizes to be a chore, it becomes a joy. Knowledge becomes weightless, no longer does it take the form of a bladder on the camel’s back, it evolves into the wings of an eagle. Knowledge and learning transcend the form of an anchor and becomes an enabler. The quality of knowledge would be rich in both breadth and depth because it was driven by a motivation laced with confidence and held in check by ethnical integrity.

When all of the above are primed and set, one would then generate different interpretations of the experiences of one’s life. Ethical integrity, motivation, capacity and knowledge embody the role of mirrors and lens which help us to focus our life experiences into sharp imagines, clear our vision of the horizons, block out the rays which would poison our reservoirs, enrich and refine our experiences.

Do not get ahead of ourselves and pursue experiences for the sake of accumulating volumes of unintelligible sensory sensations. Without the lens, light is just light, but with good enough lens, and skilled positioning, the lens can help focus the light into a laser, a laser to help craft our destinies.

And that is why Army was a meaningful experience for some, and a waste of time for so many others, why a relationship can destroy someone and yet strengthen another, why some stand and why some fall.

Have you gotten ahead of yourself?

Why we tame Dragons

2011-02-28T14:44:00.004+08:00

Dragon

I was at Kumar’s Amazing Race gig, he was basically making fun of Indian people most of the time, at the white and dark Indians and their difficulty in getting jobs in racist Singapore etc. etc. About 20 min into the act while he was making fun of how north Indians always look down on south Indians, this north indian guy who was seated right beside me shouted expletives from the third floor of the theatre, he lost control for 2 seconds. The acoustics of the hall carried the shout. Every one heard it, including Kumar. But despite this inconsiderate behaviour, Kumar recovered almost instantly and carried on and all was good again. Needless to say who is at fault here, if you can’t take jokes centred on stereotypes, than don’t attend such events. His 2 seconds of rage left an indelible mark on the experiences a few hundred people. But that is not the point of this entry.

This incident reminded me of another story. I had a friend, she had a boyfriend who drove a fast car. Once the couple gave me a ride home, and during the ride he was driving fast, seemingly reckless, lots of hard braking and overtaking. During this time, I was being slightly tossed about in the back seat. I asked my friend if he always drive like this, she said that he only drives like this when he gets emotional, angry, sad, etc.

At that point, I asked myself. Which part of the human body directly causes the car to speed? I deduce that it was the ankle. When he gets emotional, he cannot even maintain full control of his one ankle. I question his ability to control his wrists and fists and the different types of indelible marks he could leave on her life.

Men are endowed by God (or nature) depending on where you stand, with generally greater strength than women. What purpose could our strengths serve, to bully, abuse or rape? I don’t think so. A sword is used to kill, but it was forged by the desire to protect.

People have absolute faith in the rising of the sun because it is dependable; nothing can stop it from keeping its promise to rise every morning. We depend on it, we count on it, and we even take it for granted. But no one have any faith in the strength and direction of the wind. It’s true that the force of the wind can be great and its direction favourable, but too many elements are allowed to interfere with the trajectory of the wind, even the flapping of the wings of the butterfly (butterfly effect). The wind, great as it is, is not its own master.

Imagine you have a friend who is brilliant, strong or good looking. But every time when you meet him, you do not know what state of mind he is in. He could be angry at packed bus, or sad from his argument with his mother that morning. How can we count of him when push comes to shove? Can we really depend on a guy whose mood is his mode? He allowed his circumstances to determine who he is.

A man can become great, fit, strong, successful or wealthy. But if he were to have a poor grasp over his emotions or an ill disciplined mind, all his strength and power will become a source of fear to those around him, an untamed dragon.

Power as they say is nothing without control. I have seen enough people in my life lose it to know that once you lost it, you can never really get it back. Control and discipline is not a single act, its a habit, a lifestyle, a way of life. You are, afterall, what you continually do. Tame your thoughts, tame your dragon.

Girl Guides: So much, for going Dutch

2011-02-24T14:01:00.004+08:00

Can love be separated from money?

Few topics are as sensitive as money in consumer crazy Singapore. Due to many reasons, many guys today are still living off their parents. Even if it’s not explicit financial support, they are supported by the provision of housing, food, handphone bills, etc. We are rarely fully independent until we get a job and move out, which is around the age of 32 I reckon.

Point one, our money is not our own. Even if a guy has a part time job, is he paying rent to his parents? Is he paying the bills which he is a part of? Until he has completely broken away financially, his money is not his purely his own. So girls, please don’t expect him to use daddy’s money on you. Lest one valentine day you get a bouquet of flowers with a card saying “I love you, From Simon, Regards Simon’s Dad”.

When I was a teenager, my mom told me “Boy, I didn’t give you money for you to buy flowers for girls, don’t use dad’s money to make up for what you lack”. Honestly I was rather affected by this, but the nail in the coffin for this happened many years after that conversation with mom. I used to work in a bar, there was a rather pretty girl working here. She seemed rather nice and had a boyfriend who adored her. Boyfriend’s father was quite wealthy, so boyfriend had more than enough money to spend her. She was sharing with her friend, in my presence that she don’t even need to bring her wallet out, not even EZ link card because he would drive her home. Once after work, we were all tired and her boyfriend wanted to have supper with her. She reluctantly agreed via sms and told her friend beside her that it’s a free meal anyway.

I swore that I would never be on the other end of that conversation. There are many guys out there who do not share my sentiments. They believe in paying every time all the time, I do not have an issue with that. But there are some guys who are not sure, hence here are some suggestions.

Guys, if you think that you will be seeing her again, offer to pay for her this time and tell her that she can pay for the next time. If she enjoyed her time, she would be glad to do that. But if the idea of paying for her own meal doesn’t sit well with her, then your second date will not materialize and you have saved yourself in many ways. Think about it.

Girls, don’t be too happy when you are with a guy who has a loose wallet. A man’s spending reflects his priorities. Where, who and how he spends can tell you a lot about him. It can tell you what he values, what he take for granted, what kind of relationship he is trying to build with you. Please note that I did not mention any actual amount of money. That is actually irrelevant, it’s the principle behind it. His spending might be hiding his insecurity, his ability to attract friends and influence people.

I am not defending “stingy” guys, but there are some guys out there who actually are broke, yes remember them? A meal with you might cause him to downgrade his lunch for the next 3 days. It’s true that it says a lot when he is willing to sacrifice for you, but what does it say about you when you expect this sacrifice?

I have always believed that generosity is not what you give others, but what you give up for others. Getting a girl something that shows that you are thinking of her often is much better than getting her what she “wants”. A blade of grass can be a precious gift. There can be more love in a blade of grass than in a mansion on Lonely Street.

In our quest to impress others according to the laws of Hollywood, we sometime forget what we are trying to express. Our misplaced expectations render us blind to classical human values.

Once I went out with a rather thoughtful girl for lunch at Swenson’s. Because I had such an awesome time chatting with her I really didn’t mind paying for her. I settled the bill when she went to the ladies, when she came back she asked how much was the bill, I told her that it cost twice as much her next lunch with me. That was years ago, and until now we are good friends. Money will always be a factor in our relationships with people, but don’t let it become an issue.

Become the girl that money cannot buy, let trust be the currency, love be the unit of measurement and loyalty be the statement.

Mini-series: Girl Guides, Introduction and Points of Departures.

2011-02-19T11:24:00.005+08:00

Context should be our lens, not what we perceive.

I have decided to write a mini-series of blog entries centred on an issue many girls have found to be terribly difficult to ascertain. How do we understand the guy whom she is interested in as a life partner? I have toyed with these ideas for a long time and I have decided that in order to properly give a concrete structure to my opinion, a blog mini-series is the best way. Please note, that this is merely my opinion; it is not fact by any stretch of the imagination. Remember always that I need not have wrote this, I could have kept all this to myself, in my own world, told only to a handful of friends who bother to listen but cannot remember what I said when they wake up the next day. But I decided that it have better currency here, the voice to the void.

We must start with introspection. Which essentially means that we need to look inwards and at the ground we are standing on, how old are you, what kind of partner are you looking for, how serious are you when you are interacting with him and how seriously do you take yourself? How do we know? Here’s some “tips for thought”.

Life is not divided by age categories but by phases of existences. It doesn’t matter if we are 15 or if we are 25. What matters is which phase of our life course we are currently undergoing. If you are working or studying, the issues you face and the pleasures you draw from life are rather specific to your phase. The dimension which exist behind our eyeballs are personal and specific, hence in order to better communicate this inner world to someone else, he should also be in the same phase. This will help greatly in the exchange of ideas as well as ascertaining compatibility of ideas.

Birds of the feather flock together, opposite attracts. These two separate axioms are inherently contradictory; however you have used them both or at least thought that way during difference instances of your life. Are you a hypocrite? No. You are merely engaged in a fallacy. You are missing out on the element of context. For example, I love to talk. Depending on the context, I should seek out someone who equally loves to talk so I can debate with her till we grow old and die from it or should I seek out someone who listens and never contribute anything meaningful to my intellect? It’s the issue of context. Be clear that preference has no polarity, there is no right or wrong when it comes to preference, white is no better than black. Know that our decisions are almost always influenced if not determined by context. Be context aware, generous guy might be hiding a heart always eager to please or a lack of control when interacting with girls. Generous is no more better than stingy, selfless no better than poor judgement.

Hence when laying the foundations of a potentially long term relationship, it is ideal that this process be done in the same bubble metaphorically speaking. This allows for ideals, beliefs, hopes and dreams to be exchanged with similar currency. That is to say that we are comparing apples with apples.

The other point is that we should know what we want and embed our preferences within context. I personally feel that a guy must and should have an unwavering dedication to his family, you should never hold it against when a guy blows you off for a family related event or commitment. This exemplifies the priorities in his life. After all you hope to one day become a part of his family right? Wouldn’t you want to be his priority as well? Ever girl wants to be the main character in her man’s life but know that she should never start out as the lead actress. If you find that the guy promotes you too easily, he might be the director of a B grade film, that is to say… he can’t find other actresses to star in his life.

The last point of this entry can best be exemplified by a story. The boutique owner of “This Fashion” fired all her sales staff for being lazy and unmotivated. She than hired a HR manager to help her source for better employees. The manager during their first meeting asked how much she was willing to pay for a full time sales staff. She said $1500 a month. The manger than asked her to write down on a piece of paper all the qualities and traits she would want her ideal sales person to embody. The owner easily wrote down a list including traits like friendly, hardworking, outgoing, self-motivated, pleasant looking, etc etc. The manager took the list, read it and asked the owner the crucial question; “Why would this person work for you?”

How many of us are making the same mistake as the owner? We ask for the world but offer only a pile of rocks? Many girls faced the “interesting” problem of having the guy they like essentially ignoring them and attracting those whom they are not the least bit interested in or worst those whom they find hopelessly weird. The reason is simple, it’s her disposition. That is to say that it’s how she is behaving. What is giving those guys lower in the chain the idea that they stand a chance? Or simply she does not seem interesting enough to the type of guys she is interested in for him to make a move.

She cannot interest a man of calibre by “only” being cute or nice, he already knows hundreds of girls like that. She cannot interest a good looking guy (invested in appearance) by “only” being smart.

One sentence summary: Know what you want and become the person he would want to be with.

Next Entry: Money and Love, quality and quantity

E.Materialism

2011-02-19T10:05:00.003+08:00

The loss of magic in our lives will render

our textured world

into a formless desert

Today I was exposed to an idea so radical, I was taken aback at the sheer proposal of it; Eliminative Materialism.

In the realm of philosophy, there are two main branches of understanding reality. Dualism is the idea that reality exist in two parts. An example would be the Duality of Mind and Body. What exists in the mind is one thing, and what exist out there in the empirical (perceived by our 5 senses) is completely another. Love, hate, jealousy, feelings and states of mind are examples of the non-empirical reality. By extension, we can say that we have a soul, a kind of spiritual essence that is beyond the body, some kind of consciousness which can transcend the material plane.

The other contender for this is Monism, the idea the reality exist as one complete whole. There are no planes, no dimensions or alternate reality. Reality simply “exist”, the questions is whether we are able to perceive it or not. An example is Materialism, the idea that everything can be reduced to bits and bytes, very essentialist (very reductionalist way of thinking). Our feelings, beliefs, thoughts, “free will”, etc. can be reduced to the electro-magnetic sparks within our brains.

When you are walking along the street, and you see a deep hole, you take a detour. Because you believe that going into the hole is not to your benefit. Hence you heuristically (automatic, passive, short cut brain work) take a detour. Sound very intuitive (common sense) doesn’t it? Also sounds “psychologically” sensible. This is “folk psychology” rationality, seemingly intuitive doesn’t it?

Eliminative Materialism pushes the idea of Materialism to the extreme by saying that not only does ideas about feelings, states of mind and beliefs are wrong, they also do not exist. At this point I was thinking in my head… than what? Proponents of Eliminative Materialism warn that folk psychology is completely useless in explaining things around us. “Common Sense” cannot explain why we need sleep, we know precious little about a “activity” we spend 1/3 of our lives doing. Everything, according to them, should be boiled down to neuro-science, brain study. Even belief, doesn’t exist. It exists of course as a figment of our imagination, like luck, fate, faith, and other states of mind.

Can belief really not exist? After all, if I choose to believe in this mode of thinking, what then am I doing if not believing? One powerful example shown to me was the example of the sun set. Let us say two men are watching a sun set, Copernicus and Ptolemy (www.googleityourself.com). Copernicus would point at the Sun and say, “Oh the sun is passing over us”, and Ptolemy would say “this side of earth is turning away from the light of the sun”. It is not important who is “right” and who is “wrong”. For both where considered truth during their astrological renaissance. The point is that both believed that they were right, and both would theoretically die for what they believe in. Beliefs are real only in their consequences, not real in itself.

Eliminative Materialism is not arguing that the hole doesn’t exist, or that the sun doesn’t exist, there surely is something happening. The point is that the way we rationalize the world using folk psychology is wrong. The reason why the social worlds we live in seem so inconsistent and erratic is the same reason why Copernicus’s Astrological Model was so complicated compared to Ptolemy’s, Copernicus was thinking about it using the wrong cognitive tools, and basing is model on a less accurate assumption, or a premise.

I argue that we should look back at our beliefs, if after all this I still can call my beliefs mine. What simulated my brain to create the imprints which led me to “know” what I know now and today? We should look at it from the perspective of brain science, in receptors and emitters. What you have come to know and believe today is historical (a product of a chain of events and experiences). It's your belief only because you claim it as yours, you did not create something new, any more than a mother creates a new baby from the food she eats. Let us be aware, that the concept (idea) of belief is a transport unit for our distilled experiences. Dont make the mistake of using yesterday's dried paint, to paint tomorrow's landscape (the problem of induction, Hume's problem), it WILL distort your reality. Be aware, thats all.

However, we face the same problem as Copernicus. Hence my answer to the proponents of eliminative materialism is this. We are limited by the technology of our time. Hence, we are stuck with using the scientific equivalent of superstitions to govern our day to day social lives, beliefs, hopes and dreams. Not very different from how once people thought the plague was caused by witches, you can pay for you sins with money, and love can be bought in potion form and other such “out-dated” practices. We here today use narratives, belief systems, hopes, dreams and other such figments of our imagination to rationalize our existence until something better comes along which can literally read your mind and by extension destroy your free will.

Do your believe me?

Valentine Moments

2011-02-19T09:59:00.003+08:00

Last weekend I had dinner with a friend. Initially I wanted post something on the “Whats on your mind” to spoil as many people’s valentine day as possible. Why? Because it helped me express something I have always felt since I first heard of Valentine Day; that it was a gimmick.

A day perpetuated by an industry which is hell bent on commercializing a skewed notion of love. Saturated by almost every media source to “show” our Love. As if Love is something which loses value if not expressed in petals or palates.

She didn’t know it, but she changed my mind, hence I decided to do pen this.

We are all familiar with how this day became significant for so many people and its history, if you are not familiar, check it out at www.googleityourself.com.

vday, small caps emphasised, as it is commonly refered to in truncation crazy Singapore, provided an opportunity for so many guys to show that one girl that he thought of her as more than just a friend. It stressed so many girls by forcing them to hint, sometimes excessively at that one guy who she cannot stop thinking about, who seem to possess everything quality she was looking for except the ability to pick up a hint. Boyfriends brainstorm with other boyfriends ideas on how to out perform last years gestures, and girlfriends crack their collective heads trying to figure what to buy for their guy from the oh-so-limited men section of the shopping world. Guys turn to etched silver and girls to handmade cards in a hopeless struggle to “out personalize” gifts for each other.

But, I detest the notion of a Valentine Day. Not for the values it stand for, but the notion that great displays of Love and affection should and must be grand and sentimental and should occur within a Day. It was as if Love, however you define it, got a boost that day. A multiplier effect, any act done at the end of the second week of the second month will be received with greater reception. If you don’t believe me, guys try giving heart shaped chocolates every Monday to that girl and you will know what I mean.

Today, I saw an Indian foreign worker helping an old Chinese aunty up the bus. Helping a stranger, in a strange land out of goodness of his heart told me more about what Valentine’s Day was about than the countless couples I saw walking hand in hand through Orchard underpass with overpriced bouquets in hand, ignoring the Tissue paper selling aunty.

Have we forgotten that spirit of Valentine’s Day encompasses friends as well as lovers, family as well as strangers? Your lover was once your friend. If you cannot be a good friend, you surely cannot be a good lover.

Why limit it to a day? Campaigns are measured in days. Lifestyles are measured in lives.

Helping an old lady up the bus, cross the road, up the curb, or even clearing your own tray at the food court to help out the old cleaning lady. Buying two drinks instead of one for your friend when he is stuck in a long q in the canteen so that a drink is waiting for him when he is done queuing up. Call her when you see a good deal and you know she would love to know about it. Warm up dinner when you know your brother is coming home in 30 minutes time. Wash the dishes for your mother when she is not looking.

Screw Valentine’s Day, its Valentine Moments we should strive to realize. Great oceans are made of tiny drops of water; no one drop is more important or greater than the other. Great love is made up of tiny everyday acts, no one act greater or more important than the other. Do something not to show someone that you are thinking of him or her, do it because you are. Do not be deceived by commercial entities selling you the idea that the louder you shout, the greater your Love. They forgot and lest you forget, that most of the greatest assurances of love came in the form of whispers, at night, and close to each other.

And here is me wishing you, many, yet unrealized, and probably unnoticed, Valentine Moments.

Act one: The First Week

2010-02-19T19:29:00.000+08:00

It has been one week since I arrived in Bern, Switzerland. I have decided to post on this blog once a week, as I am already keeping a journal. I can only write something twice that many times. Also, since this is a blog, I think I will structure this more for public consumption, although very few people actually have the address to my blog.

One of the first things to strike me when I touched down in Zurich airport was how small it was. I was tiny as far as I am concerned. The arrival area was smaller then toapayoh interchange.

Travelling alone as its problems, problems which in all my years of travelling I have never really thought about since well, I was never alone. Going to the toilet was a problem, since I was heavily burdened with 3 sets of luggage. That’s where the handicap toilet came in handy, I pushed my trolley into the handicapped toilet so that I can keep it in my sights.

As I was waiting for my mentor Anja to arrive, I realized that I would not have been able to make it back to my room without the help of another. My load was not only too heavy, but too cumbersome to manage single handedly.

So when I met Anja in Bern station, I was more then relieved to have found someone friendly to help me make it back to my room. Now on hindsight, after dragging my stuff all the way from the station back to my room, I really would not have been able to make it.

The next day, Mel came down to my level, she lived only one level above me, to see if I am still alive, and I am. That afternoon I went to meet Sze Wing’s mentor, Benjamin in Bern station. He was instrumental in our orientation of Bern and the University of Bern.

He aided us to the best of his ability, brought us around, helped us with the setting up of our bank accounts, getting our sim cards activated, getting the train concessions, cooked dinner at his place, made cheese fondue at our place, brought us to the resident permit office to get a resident permit, brought us to the carnival in Luzern, later on we will be going to the Bern Carnival as well.

Our orientation would have been a whole of different without him.

The rag tag group I tag along with includes, Mel, an economics major 3^rd year, Tanya and Sze Wing, two English Literature majors 3^rd year as well. There’s supposed to be one more, Terri, but she seems to have her own plans, that’s expected since she was here like 3 weeks ago. We are really new compared to her.

Stating every single thing I did here doesn’t make much sense as of now. So, I shall end my first entry quite casually. There are other issues I would like to talk about, such as the direct democracy of Switzerland, its xenophobia, the working poor, the transportation system. The speed, the population density amongst other things that I have discovered in my short time here, but not to worry, all in good time.

Wednesday – D day

2010-02-10T19:56:00.000+08:00

This is it. The 10 of Feb, I have been mass uploading my posts. Hence the weird dates on my posts.

So, how did I spend my day? Morning breakfast with my mom, help dad clear newspaper, went to change money, duck rice for lunch, massive C&C4 gaming, return the cashflow game, and here I am now, waiting for time to pass. Dennis will be picking me up in a few hours time, 3 hours actually.

I am not expecting many people to send me off. Well, I never believed in sending people off. It is an outdated tradition in today’s globalized and connected world. With Skype, Facebook and msn, most of my friends wont even realize I m not in the country. I simply won’t be able to make it for 2 or 3 gatherings that’s all. Everyone is so busy these days, too busy to miss anyone. Well, maybe it’s just me?

How do I feel now? As of this moment, I am calm as a cucumber. What am I suppose to feel? My mind has such a control over my emotions that I can’t feel anything without me thinking that I am being silly. No fuss is required, all I need is to go silently, and I shall return silently.

I am pragmatic to say the least; emotions at times like this serve no practical function other then to hinder the smooth operation of my embarkation.

I shall go and have dinner with my mother now, and try for the last time in the next 6 months her awesome cooking. If anything I should miss, it would be her cooking.

My next entry will be from Bern, in my new abode for the next few months. Wish me luck and control over my rectum.

Vernon

Tuesday - Nothing

2010-02-10T19:43:00.001+08:00

Things stopped moving today. Everything I needed to pack and prepare has been wrapped up over the last few days.

As it finalized and checked my stuff I was thinking of the futility of material possessions. All that I own in the bag I m packing, can be reduced to money. Give me enough money I can replace all of them. By mere virtue of that fact, they are meaningless.

Many of us, me included are on some kind of quest to acquire resources and material possessions. But we must know and realize that those are merely means to an end. What is your end? What is it that you are going after? Where are you headed and who are you trying to convince?

I wasn’t thinking much today, I was trying to get promoted in Command and Conquer 4.

Hence I shall end here. Tomorrow I will fly. How do I feel? Nothing actually, I guess I don’t know what is coming up, you can’t fear what you do not know… right? Or do people fear what they do not know? Or do people not fear what they mis understand? Oh wells, I do not know, why? That’s because I have not discovered my fear yet. Maybe I will find it when I am in Europe.

Vernon

Monday – Bike-Handing over day

2010-02-10T19:14:00.001+08:00

Today is the beginning of a week which I will not see the end of in Singapore. I am leaving Singapore in a few days. Today I looked into my last piece of responsibility, my Honda NSR 150 SP, my bike. I went down to NTU for lunch, and then ensured my bike was spanking clean before handing it over to its caretaker, Xiao Ming. Honestly it was a slow day for me, everything slowed down to a crawl after Sunday. After my crazy 5 days of meeting people and doing stuff, today was very light indeed.

So what are my thoughts for the day? Friends I guess, I was thinking of how I would have never made it to where I am today if not for those around me. Those who would stretch out their hand and offer their help, and those who unwittingly helped me by being judgmental of me. The list goes on, and I need to elaborate on the topic of how important friends are.

When I first started out as a child, a kid at the kindergarten, there was only friends and not-friends. I can “don’t friend you” and “friend” you. Things might have not been easy, but it was simple to understand.

As we grow older, we learn of a new word, acquaintance. Suddenly, there was a different dimension to our social circle. And along came classmate, coursemate, army friend, batchmate, business partner, business associates, etc etc.

I have come to agree very much with this line I read somewhere; your network today will be your net worth tomorrow. I believe there is more then a grain of truth in that statement. It is even more meaningful to someone who is still young, surrounded by equally young friends. Each one of them bursting with potential, their future unrealized, with nothing to their names but their hopes and their dreams, the question is as their friend, can we see it?

Keep good company, for a Man is measured by the quality of the company he keeps. An almost sure way to gauge a man’s worth is by who calls him friend. There is an age old saying which I cannot help but include here, quality over quantity. However, I have learned recently that only from the quantity can we have a chance of meeting the few quality individuals who you will one day share your destiny with.

Don’t be too anxious to embrace everyone as your brother, know them first. Don’t look at how they fund their lifestyle but look at what motivate them, look at their dreams and where they put most of their efforts. If they are in sync with yours, or compliment yours, then you have a friend to keep. If not, then you will have what is commonly known as a “hi bye” friend. We can never have too many of those no?

Vernon

Saturday and Sunday Our Word

2010-02-09T18:32:00.000+08:00

Saturday I attempted my IPPT, had lunch at Bugis followed by an advance family reunion dinner. The reason why my family pushed the dinner forward, was for my benefit since I am leaving before the actual commencement of the Lunar New Year.

Sunday was quite a tight day, went to the Air show with Kenneth, Ronald and Ilango. It was really a waste of time to be honest. In the evening, I watched my brother perform at the Esplanade, followed by dinner with Karen and company. As the final event to my 5 days of activities, I went to pass Pat some of my books. Why did I pass her my books expecting her not to read them? I have no idea honestly; I guess it’s about fulfilling one’s end of the deal.

This combined entry will be about fulfilling one’s end of the deal, or rather, his or her word.

When does a child become an adult? Physical condition aside, it is my personal benchmark for that threshold is when one has the ability to make promises and deliver them, both timely and in a concise fashion. Promises, or rather, it is one’s word that makes or breaks a person. I shall try to be as gender neutral as possible, please note that this applies to both male and female and if I were to use the male reference please note that I meant both genders.

A man is his word, like a samurai is his sword. Both must be hard and dependable, constant and firm. When two people get married, social etiquette demands a wedding. During this wedding they exchange vows. What are vows? They are more then just words, they are promises. They carry the weight of one’s entire life in a collection of syllabus. A promise that cannot be taken lightly, that is what a vow is to me.

But not everyone is fit to make vows, and not every vow that has been made was made by people fit to make vows. That is the reality, and that is the truth.

As person, one should only be allowed to make promises that one can keep. Making promises which one cannot keep merely does nothing more then devalue the Word of the individual. After leaving enough broken promises behind oneself, one will find that people no longer ‘trust’ him. Henceforth it will be most challenging for him to get anything done since his word is worthless and in turn he becomes worthless.

Of course, this does not happen overnight. It actually takes some time for people to over come the benefit of a doubt that they so readily bestow upon others. We are our habits, we are what we continuously do. If we are always honest with others, then we are honest people, and if we always help others then we are helpful people. If we are always lying and we are simply liars. It all starts somewhere, if there is a first time, then there will be a second time. One reputation is not build in a day, but it can be destroyed in day. The trust that we took years to build can be taken away in an act or a whisper.

Be conscious of what we promise, and deliver what we promise. That way we strengthen our word, our rights as an adult and more importantly as dependable elements in the lives of those we care most about.

Vernon

Thursday The Primary Drive

2010-02-09T16:31:00.000+08:00

My activities today consisted of meeting Lauren in the afternoon followed by Japanese buffet in the evening followed by drinks at SMU’s Ice Cold Beer place.

There was one topic which was shared between my two meetings today, and that is Sex, or rather the hold of sex over all of us.

Lauren was telling me about her aspirations of becoming an air stewardess after her graduation this semester. But midway she told me about how she will not last long inside because of the heavy weight-age of supervisor appraisal and how they use it as a leverage to extract sexual favors from the stewardesses. Considering how she thinks that women are to be protected and she feels that somehow she can change the situation, she will not last long in there.

When I was with Simiao and company, the topic covered a few areas including the cost of education, food, and somehow involved some talk on the hold Sex have over us all.

Hence today’s topic will be about Sex. Not the pornographic type of course, but more of the Freud type. Freud believes that we humans have many drives or motivations to engage in any endeavor, but most of these drives are secondary. Such as hunger, thirst and the need for shelter or warmth, Freud argues that the primary drive instilled in humans is the drive for carnal satisfaction. That is also to say that the basic reason why we do anything at all within our lives is so that we basically get laid.

Think about it, why do we go to school? To get an education, most would answer? I am sure most people pursue education not because they have an insatiable thirst for knowledge and understanding of the operation of the world. To get a good job, to get a good salary, to get a good life, some would say. We can attribute this to the sub conscience drive to appear attractive by contemporary standards so that one would be able to attract a mate more easily, as they say, the better you market the easier you sell.

A simple thought experiment would help elucidate my point. Imagine all of us cannot have sex and the way our species reproduce is through age, like once you reach 30 everyone will get pregnant, and we are all sexless.

Simply put, entire industries would never have existed, the cosmetic industry, the match making industry, hell even the shoe industry would not have been so big. Would we have the motivation that we have today if the situation was as such? I reckon not.

Few of us like vegetables but most of like sweet stuff, ever wondered why our body was programmed this way? Greens are good for us and sweets are bad for us, why is it such that we have an attraction towards something detrimental to our health and impartiality towards something good for us?

Well, I have thought of it, and I actually found out why. During the early days of the human race, sugar was a rarity, something hard to find and even harder to extract from their source. Whereas vegetables were common and easily acquired, our body needed both sugar and vegetables. Hence, biologically humans developed a certain chemical release in the brain that would occur when one consume sugar, hence rewarding the person’s hard work in obtaining this rare nutrient. This “good feeling” is the motivation for the person to dig the ground or climb higher for rarer fruits; a reward for the trouble.

It happened this way because our body needed the sugar from fruits or what not, it was part of the body’s proper functioning.

Similarly, our race, the human race, needs to produce the next generation. As a species, part of its proper functioning is to produce the next generation, this function I might argue is the most important function, and everything else will be for nothing if the species cannot continue.

And as we all know, getting some one to mate with us is a very difficult task these day. Gone are the cave man days of bashing a female over the head and dragging her body home. Hence the ultimate good feeling is ascribed to the action of reproduction, and hence it goes hand in hand with humanity’s ultimate pursuit, Sex.

Friday – Day of firsts

2010-02-07T02:10:00.000+08:00

Once again here is a list of activities for today. I had buffet lunch at Pu Tian, apparently it was some famous and well known place for Chinese food. It was my first time at that place, and I found the food to be tasty. The food itself was cheap food like tofu and some fish, but tasty nonetheless. I did some shopping alone today, got myself a X-Mini speakers and a webcam for my family so that they can see me when I am over in Bern. By the time everything was done up, I had to go for my evening event. Which was believe it or not, peranakan food at some dodgy restaurant along queen street, just like how I found Pui Tian to be serving tasty food, I also found that peranakan food can be quite tasty as well. After that was some errands to sort out before heading for the main event, Kumar’s stand up act at 3 monkeys. Which was really funny. I honestly had a fun time, it’s been a long time since some one else did the planning and booking and stuff like that.

So it has been a day of firsts for me. So at the end of the day I was thinking of… courage, the courage to try something new, the courage to first be lousy at something before becoming good instead of staying a non player all of one’s life.

I have been a pioneer in a few areas among my peers, in fact until this day I am still the only person in some of the fields. But I never let that bother me at all, I strongly believe that if you make your life choices in the same way, and considers the same factors as other people, odds are you will end up in the same place as other people. Normally, it wouldn’t be an issue except the fact that where most people end up at is a place I do not want to be in.

What we need is courage, to stand up against our friends and our fears. It is the easiest thing to give up, I would even be so bold as to say that we have a pre disposition to give up instead of trying harder or approaching the problem from a different direction.

We even need courage to stand up to ourselves, when the tiny voices in our heart tells us that we are not strong enough, or that we are not worthy of a certain type of life. As the catchphrase from Spiderman 3 so aptly put it, the greatest battle lies within, and it is there where the greatest amount of courage is needed.

Wednesday – Luck is up to us

2010-02-04T14:54:00.003+08:00

When opportunity knocks, it better see something like this

Today my mundane activities included dropping off a cheque at the bank and meeting Dennis to hunt for his Oakeys, followed by drinks at breworkz with Meng Kit and his friends right before we headed for MUSE!

Blogging about my experience at a concert seems to me an utter waste of time. So I shall skip that.

So what are my thoughts for the day? Interestingly it's about seizing opportunities.

There is a phrase I picked up from a book describing luck. Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. When the two contributing factors are not in tandem then “luck” as we would have it doesn’t happen.

When opportunity knocks on your door, and you lack the preparation to receive it, then opportunity will simply walk away. Spend all day preparing but opportunity doesn’t appear at your door, all would have been in vain. Or as we often call it, Bad Luck.

But can we really ascribe our lives to the whims and chance of something so arbitrary like opportunity or “luck”? I will admit that there is an arbitrary element, but we are not powerless against it. We can off set this random element with some effort on our part. The keywords here are effort and our part, not slacking and our sourcing efforts to others like our parents or boyfriends or girlfriends.

We cannot control opportunity, but we can increase the chances of it occurring. How? By taking chances with the people, investing your time, effort and energy in others, by helping others, by meeting people, by trying new things, going out of your comfort zone. But if one simply stays at home and feel curse that one doesn’t any opportunity to succeed, then I am afraid it’s one’s own fault. Opportunity favors the bold; he who is timid will have to take a back seat as those who are more motivated and driven take centre stage where opportunity can see them. Which of the two do you want to be?

Prior to taking centre stage, those who are motivated and driven must also be prepared to seize the opportunities that come along. When I say preparation include have the correct skill set. Different opportunities require different skill sets to capitalize upon. So one must be clear what one wants to achieve, and hence pursue the means to an end.

The effort required of us Students of Life are two fold. Firstly, we must equip ourselves with the relevant skill sets that would aid us in the pursuit of our hopes and dreams. We must take responsibility of our own learning, our own destiny. Secondly we must expose ourselves to the world outside our comfort zone, our normal orbit. Else how can we change our chances if we keep doing things the same way? This is what it means to me to take charge of one’s destiny, take things into our own hands, answer for your mistakes and reap the glory of your triumphs.

We can never have enough shots at success, so don’t be fussy when it comes to opportunity. Don’t ever think to yourself that other such opportunity might come along, thinking like that is a clear sign of out sourcing your responsibility of your destiny.

We all start at different points of our lives, hence the roads laid before us are both different both in difficulty and duration. But the basic ideas are the same, expand your scope in order to garner better exposure to opportunities, know one’s dreams in order to acquire the relevant skills sets and aid in the preparation process.

Some have it harder then others, which only mean one thing, some will have a sweeter taste of success then others.

Vernon

Tuesday - Reciprocity

2010-02-04T12:53:00.003+08:00

In terms of events, today can be considered quite low key. Meet Kenneth in the afternoon to help him out with setting up MetaTrader. Following which he unfortunately was made to listen to me blabber on about myself once again. Sorry man.

After I was done, I helped my sister return her library book at toapayoh then rushed myself down to pick up a certain someone to SIM TMC. Where I did what I normally do at club meetings.

So my thoughts about today… will be about my sister and reciprocity.

Yes, I have a sister; she is 16 years old this year, born in the year 1993. A few years ago, due to certain circumstances I was inspired to begin reading. I started to write down in a special book all the titles of the books I read, who was the author and the start and end date of reading the book. I made a promise to myself that day, and my sister witnessed it. After seeing how serious I was at following through this endeavor, she also started to do the same. I am proud to say that today I have a sister who is an avid reader who potentially might over take me in terms of number of books read. She started out with books from my own personal library and slowly developed her own taste in books and started crafting her own set of books. Like me she doesn’t favor novels and fiction, which means most of the information she gets from the books she read are more useful.

The three books I helped her return are books on Accounting, Excel and Body Language. Those three books are part of her efforts to better prepare herself when he enters Ngee Ann Polytechnic; my previous school. She will be doing Business studies or Accounting I reckon. Her preemptive actions are a result of her desire to excel and to take responsibility for her own learning, of which I am proud of her.

When I was in the army, I was reading average a book a week. As time was tight for me when I was an 11B holder, I always made her return my books for me. Now that my sister is working as a packer in some roasted pork place, she is pressed for time and I take up the responsibility of returning her books for her.

My willingness to help her stems from many areas, such as the fact that I am her elder brother, she busy etc, etc. But one of the reasons was also because she did it for me so unquestioning 3 years ago. I was engaging in an act of reciprocity.

Reciprocity is a form of goodwill I reckon. When I help others, which I like to believe I always do, there is this little part of me that hope that one day should I need the equal amount of help from those I aided, they would step up to the task. But the world is not perfect and more often then not I am disappointed. But the poor rate of return does not faze me one bit. Because, if someone doesn’t initiate an act of reciprocity towards me when the situation is favorable for such, somehow it becomes an indictor of the level of potential investment one would pour into maintaining the relationship. If one person you know doesn’t believe or doesn’t even reciprocate the smallest of favors or kindness or even actions, then that person more often then not will not be a good capacitor for goodwill. More likely he or she is a bottomless bucket, or at best a manipulator. Again I must stress that is a general statement, every situation is different and one must apply discretion always, the above statement is merely a guide for your train of thoughts. The argument is not well made I admit but it is mere a weather vane for a person’s orientation towards others. The above are only my opinion, not fact.

Monday Parts of an Airplane

2010-02-02T11:04:00.008+08:00

Pending Third Pic when we are all in Grad Gowns

Today is Monday, the first day of the week and officially 10 days before I leave Singapore for Bern. I can finally leave my house, and leave my house I did. I left my house for a farewell gathering by my Poly Friends. I brought them to Sofra in bugis for dinner then Zosfi in Little Indian for Drinks. Hence this entry will be about them.

I was scheduled to meet my friends from Ngee Ann Poly, yeah time really files it was 2003/04 when I met them. The cause of our friendship, this is a correct description, was the pure chance that we were in the same tutorial group. But that was only the spark; it wasn’t the fuel of our friendship.

Every one of us, when we were in polytechnic was driven and motivated to do well in school. Each of us contributed to a social support group for one another, as they say, the journey will feel easier and shorter when one is with good company. And good company they were. In my opinion, they were the very best my cohort good offer.

The truth is, in each of them I see a different quality that is not inherent to me. I do not know how they see me, but this is how I see them. They are like mirrors, reflecting who I am. When I speak to them, my words bound off them and I hear myself. Through them, I my self reflection became sharper and more concise. For the purpose of illustration, I will use Eric, I would hope and at the same time I know that he won’t mind. Eric is a Christian, not just any Christian; he is very active in church, a super Christian. He would give up so much of his time to serve the church sometimes I would wonder if he still has enough time for himself. But he is a very good example of self sacrifice, altruism. I will not list all that I have observed, but I shall talk about the impact on me. Putting others before oneself so selflessly is something I which have eluded me. But I try, and through Eric I know that it is possible, because he is doing it, and happy doing it. Which means that is it possible to be selfless.

For what other purpose did God give us strength if it’s not to protect the weak? Why would God bless me if not for me to use those blessings to bless others? If I have the gift of speech, then it is not to lie and deceive but to motivate and inspire. If I have the gift of knowledge, then it is not to abuse and dominate but to share and enlighten. We must be the bearer of light into dark places.

It was Eric from so many years ago which was the inspiration for the above. But how did he inspire me? All he did was to exist as a person, and all I did was to observe a good example. I learned not from what he did, but from how he lived, not from the words of his mouth but the thoughts of his mind and the emotions of his heart.

Eric is one of many inspirations I found within my humble circle of friends whom I was so blessed to have found when I was slacking around polytechnic. I mean every syllable when I say that I would have never made it where I am today if not for every single one of them. They were yolk which during crucial developmental phase of life; my late teens 17-20 years young, provided and displayed the qualities and examples which showed me not only what it means to be human but what it means to be a friend. Lessons which I still make reference to today at 24.

If a man is measured by the company he keeps, then I am the very best. Cheers.

Vernon

Sunday On the Verge of February

2010-02-01T01:09:00.003+08:00

we cant always look in all directions

On the Sabbath the Lord rested, and so did I. It’s been a really long time since I spent two days in a row at home without leaving the house in any reasonable way. Listing every little thing I did today is would be simply mundane, instead why not read some of my thoughts for the day.

I was staring at my lava lamp this morning when I woke up; I switch it on every night when I sleep because it’s so hot that it warms my room and yes, I like my room warm, and my bed warm and my blanket warm. Watching the endless loop motion of the wax bob up and sink down. The wax would have some false sense of progress, the form of the wax changes, the wax if it could feel itself change would think that it is improving. But from my point of view, looking at the wax from my IKEA bed its feeble attempts at change look sad at best. Would the wax listen to me if I were to tell it that what it is doing will result in nothing worthwhile?

One of our greatest short coming is that we cannot see our forehead, or as the Greeks would say “the eye can’t see the eye”. Fundamentally, we all believe that we are doing the right things, making the right choices, doing what we think is best for ourselves and those who are important to us. But that is what we think, that is merely our opinion it is the furthest concept from fact. Believe it or not, we, mortal human beings can’t over all the angles, we can try, but we cant cover 100% of all possible trains of thoughts.

What we need is alternative perspective, established persons who with the best intentions at heart offering us their own point of view. But be wary of advice, the best intentions does not equate to the best advice, and good advice can only come from wisdom.

There are many ways one can obtain wisdom; one of them is through experience, or through “Life”. But, good and correct wisdom can only come when one has lived his life correctly, hence he will be in possession of good wisdom. Not coffee shop talk and vague instructions for success, not “common sense” or “logic”. Attributing the reason for a course of action to logic is a public display of ignorance as any creditable student of philosophy can tell you that there are many forms of logic and they are far from compatible with each other.

Here are some examples of bad advice:

“In stocks, to make money one must buy low and sell high” – Every time I hear anyone give any one else or God forbid me this advice I have to will myself not to slap him, why? Because saying something like that is akin to saying nothing and hence wasting everybody’s time. He should be telling me how to buy or sell, which to buy and sell or to watch, and at how much it’s worth at best or at its worst.

If the CEO of a listed company tells me 1 week before he liquidate his company and that I should sell off all my stock in that company… now that is good advice.

“Study hard”, now this is a classic example of bad advice. Study what? Study where? Study for how long? Study under who? What does “hard” mean, at the expense of your health, social skills, communication skills or the ability to be tactful? If I want to be a professor who is weakly, antisocial and live in an ivory condominium filled with books and a single seat sofa, I would take that advice.

“Get a good job”, now this is rubbish, one of the most outdated and out with the times advice ever. GET THIS INTO YOUR HEADS, NO SUCH THING EXIST. Next time ask me to marry an invisible pink unicorn.

Peace

Foreword

2010-01-30T16:43:00.002+08:00

The countdown has begun. My flight to Zurich is at 2am on the 11 February, which is about 10 days from now. I would like to use this blog to document my last ten days in Singapore prior to leaving and hopefully my trip over there as well.

I have quite a few loose ends to tie up as of last week, like my toastmasters account, my forex account, my bike, among other things. But, I have systematically cleared them and I am down to only a few more, such as my deferment from upcoming ICT on the 25 June 2010.

Today is a Saturday, I have decided to spend it uneventfully at home to iron out some issues like teaching my sister how to skype video call me so I my family can see me when I am over there, emailing mindef, booking my IPPT (apparently I should at least attempt before going according to some protocol), getting my sub cards for emergency use.

My packing is more or less done, I m still severely under utilizing my weight limit, out of 30kg I am only using less then 20kg. It seems I need to get myself a bigger luggage.

I think I need to get a web cam for my family, because when I get over there, they can see me and I can’t see them. Would I want to see them? I really do not know, but I am the type to preempt problems so I will get one and set it up before I leave.

The Ten days coming up looks to be busy as hell with my SIM club visit to evaluate Calvin and my farewell gatherings. But oh wells, it’s just another week for me.

Vernon

Technology: Impotent Institutions

2008-10-31T19:45:00.001+08:00

Technology: Impotent Institutions

Few today will doubt the power and reach of the internet, and its sublime ability to so effective steer our social lives. For most of us in the contemporary society, computers and information technology has become so integrated in our lives that most of us simply cannot live life ‘normally’ without them. Internet, email, computers, laptops, cell phones, S.M.S, EZ link cards and the like have effectively changed the way we interact, what we value and who we value, even our own language proficiency.

Google Chrome has launch new software integrated into their browser which allows users to edit in real time together on an Excel or word document. This has the potential to eliminate email attachment bouncing. Combine this with live web video feeds; project work might take on a whole new meaning.

I could go on and on about the wonders and marvels of technology and how it has made my life so much better. But I rather talk about what it has taken away from us, how being connected together online has resulted in a feeling of being disconnected from each other offline.

Technological advances have resulted in more and more instances of the ‘medium becoming the message’. Before you jump the gun, let me explain what I mean, I m inspired by Marshall McLuhan version of ‘medium becoming the message’. A medium he says if effectively anything that is an extension of our physical selves. A hammer would be an extension of our arms, wheels, an extension of our feet and cell phones, an extension of our voice. Like all extension I might add, it brings about the notion that something is getting further from something else.

And according to McLuhan, a message is the "the change of scale or pace or pattern" is that a new invention or innovation "introduces into human affairs." Which means that, for example the invention of the cell phone would not bring about a message of convenience but instead the message would be perhaps “people no long being punctual” since they can say “you all go walk around first when I reach I call you”.

On the topic of rampant pornography being so easily available online, the obvious would be, pictures of women are easily available, objectifying women, degrading women etc. But according to McLuhan, that wouldn’t be good enough to be the message, the message I think would be, how a frequent ‘surfer’ of pornography will react or behave when real, living breathing women are around. Can he still remain confident or become shy and reserved. The business of online pornography is a huge multi-million dollar one, which means there are actually a lot of people engaging in this very unhealthy act. Does it have any links to rape, violence towards women, a feeling of powerlessness in men? I don’t have the facts, but I feel strongly that there is definitely a link. The medium has become the message.

Technological advancements are double edged swords, it take great skill and training to wield it safely and effectively as an individual. Currently, technology seeps into the everyday lives of people without them knowing of the darker side of it. We use and use, without knowing that it has the potential to become addictive, and like all addictions, destructive.

Societies have developed institutions to handle its day to day operation. But institutions like family and education took a very long time to develop. Technology has out paced society’s passively created institutions; it has for the large part rendered them no longer effective for the task they have been called in to perform. Family might have socialized its members that looking at naked people having sex is wrong, but what about Toon porn or hentai? Technology has made abortion cheaper and safer, but society’s institutions are still immature as it goes about handling this relatively new procedure and all its excess baggage.
What does it destroy? Like piped water in a village robbing the villagers of bonding time around the well, cell phones robbing people of the need to be punctual, facebook removing the need to ask an old friend ‘How are you?’, these ‘soft’ losses all attribute to the potential defraying of social fabric.

As McLuhan reminds us, "Control over change would seem to consist in moving not with it but ahead of it. Anticipation gives the power to deflect and control force.
And society’s institutions are not really to handle these ‘weeds’, and never will be as long as technology out paces the institutions

I am all for technological advancement, but I only wish that we all would use it wisely and responsibly.
Vernon

Urbanization: The Singapore Urban Plan, Winners and the Losers

2008-10-20T09:04:00.001+08:00

Singapore is the only city state in the world; we are unique in almost every sense of the word and our politics reflect that.
One of the aspects of our great country which has won international acclaim is our housing and urban planning. Within 30 years, the percentage of the population living in government flats soared from 30% - 80%. Every household given electricity, clean running water and of course frequent waste disposal. Even the composition of ethnic groups in each block where engineered to reflect the national proportion.
This is a stark contrast from the 1950s where under almost non existent colonial rule; crime was rampant together with gang fights, tuberculoses and unemployment.
The motivation to mount a national public housing program was largely deteriorating physical living conditions, with their attendant social, psychological and health problems.
I believe that the Housing Development Board flats and various schemes also helped or forced many people to go out and get jobs in the then booming light industries. By instilling a monthly paying system, people are forced to go out and get regularly paying jobs, and by displacing the people from their land and splitting the then normal three tiered families, removed the tendency for the people to fall back or rely on their families. These factors together with others provided the drive for people to go out and work, the government though various polices, made the county inviting to MNCs and factories to come and set up shop here.

Modern facilities, electricity, clean running water, dropping crime rates and employment benefited everyone right?

One of aims of this urban project was not doubt to boost or kick start the economy, the targeted groups were the young, mobile and what has come to be know as nucleus families.

When the first few blocks of flats were built, they were two room flats, big enough for a ‘family’. What happened to the elderly, the handicapped dependents, and children of large families? Intergeneration or intra family relations could have stepped in to lend a hand, but the balloting/arbitrary and first come first serve system to allocating flats effectively killed this possibility by scattering every nucleus. During the first few years of HDB, a few elderly committed suicide because they couldn’t adept to high rise life.

What about the minorities, the now ‘broken up’ Malay families? Now located relatively further away from each other added burdens like difficulties in finding childcare due to their strict religious practices.

The Indian family, with the retrenched sole breadwinner having to under cut the selling price of his flat when he was downgrading because he could only sell his flat to another Indian family due to the Racial Integration Act?

These are a few examples of those who suffered and sacrificed for the greater progress of the rest of the nation. The narrowly defined formal rationality of economic advancement of the nation set forth by our leaders considered them collateral damage.
Let us hope, dream and believe that one day, we can see a Singapore where one man’s dream doesn’t have to come at other man’s loss.

Vernon

Health and Globalization: Singapore Polyclinics and Individuals

2008-10-20T09:00:00.001+08:00

I live with my two grandparents, my grandfather is a veteran of a heart bypass and my grandmother suffers from the ‘side effects’ of diabetes like being sluggish for 10 years. My grandfather was a smoker for about 40 years and my grandmother use to be habitual sweet tooth. Everyone in my family, including my grandparents think that they would not have had the luxury of living so long if not for modern medicine, and the accessibility to it. There are times when I would accompany them to the polyclinic or Tan Tock Seng Hospital for various check ups and examinations, and I always notice the growing number of senior people in the waiting rooms. What is even more surprising is the imbalance of accompanying young people. I am not lying when I claim that EVERY time I accompany either of my grandparents for their checkups, I am the only person of my age group accompanying an elder. The very visible lack of young 20-50 year olds pushing their parents or grandparents around left a very lasting impression on me.

What has happened? Instead, maids and elderly couples dominate the pews in front of the polyclinic’s many consultation rooms. The demands of their children’s work and career left these senior people to navigate the polyclinics relatively alone or in husband wife combos. Matters are made worst when middle ages working adults have children and both aged parents to care for; the already cemented trend of shrinking family due to rising cost of living among other reasons; leaves the main players doing very heavy bench presses.

The cost of Singapore’s world class medical care is a significant factor in decision making. I remember, before my family decided to go ahead with my grandfather heart bypass, they were given an estimate of long much more time will it give my grandfather, this was due to the sheer cost of the operation, which was in tens of thousands, they needed to know the dollar/years exchange rate.

The government has many schemes in play with regards to healthcare in Singapore. I remember a phrase from an insurance ad which said “Will you be in awe of modern medicine or wish you can afford it?” or the aunty who pray for a quick (cheap) death else becoming a burden on her children. These concerns are all valid, not unfounded. The various schemes include Medisave, CPF, paying through their children’s Medisave etc. However, during the 1980, the government’s population policy reshaped the demographics of Singapore. A significant number of soon to be elders have less then 3 children to depend on. The education level and social position of these elders also acted as a barrier between them and schemes that can help them financially or socially. This led to a trend of fear arising from misunderstand or ignorance among the lower classes’ elderly. The fear of prolonged treatment, hospital stay and becoming a burden all serve to impede the nation’s goals of providing reasonable healthcare to all.

There are social services, volunteer and religious groups to come in and fill this gap. But, nothing and no one can replace the role of responsible children. The state can pass laws and craft schemes, groups can organize out reach programs and young children can collect money in tin cans, but nothing can be more effective then a child, taking time out from his job in today’s fast paced world to responsibly educate his parents on healthy lifestyles or pushing them around the polyclinic and watching for their queue numbers. Healthcare is a partnership between the individual and the state; each has a part to play and a role to fill.

Vernon

Religion : Kingdom of Heaven

2008-10-07T22:06:00.001+08:00

Religion: The Kingdom of Heaven

WATCH THE MOVIE FIRST

I personally find this movie very good and unique especially how Bailian the protagonist ‘won’. He actually won by surrendering, this is rather unique in Hollywood movies.

The whole movie was centered on Jerusalem, where Christ was crucified and the ‘spiritual center of the word’. As this movie ‘happened’ during the Middle Ages, there is a very solid sense of class. There are the Lords, Priests, Soldiers and Peasants. In the movie, a solider gave way to a lord, even though the lord has someone with him who was under arrest, citing the reason of his birthright. A peasant can become a better fighter if he is knighted; the person effectively is the same, his social status merely changes and in the movie, this social change can also manifest itself into better fighting skills.

In the movie, the presence of religious forces permeates throughout, and the 3 main axis of which influences the movie greatly are flexible with these religious forces; the leper king, Saladin and Bailian. I personally feel that if they were all actually following the advices of their respective spiritual leaders, it would have resulted in a very boring movie. However, it is interesting to note that all of their respective spiritual leaders seem to ‘know’ what God is thinking. Another point it seems, that there are effectively two
Different Gods in the movie; one is the personal God, he who ‘keeps’ his follower within his gaze, protecting him, guiding him and can actually ‘leave’ the follower if the follower were to commit acts inciting His anger. I call this the Protective Best Friend God (who will still punch you and leave you if you were to have an affair with his wife). The other God I would like to call the General or Commander God. This God gives the Christian people solidarity, someone to fear, to lean on, to follow and acts as a source of strength. “No army fighting under the name of Jesus Christ can be defeated” said a priest in the movie.

The first part of the movie was driven by the PBF God, the reason Bailian wanted to go to Jerusalem was he wanted to cleanse himself and his dead wife’s sins (killing a priest and committing suicide respectively) citing that PDF God has left him because of them. As if he was seeking forgiveness through another ‘governing body’. In Jerusalem, the Muslims, Jews and Christians live together harmoniously thanks to a pact signed by their respective kings.
For example, provided the minorities pay their taxes to the ruling Christians, they are allowed to pray. Religious practice has become an incentive for paying taxes. The ruling instrument of taxation has long pierced religion in that region. The Muslims and Jews had to ‘buy’ the tolerance of the Christians. This is very interesting to note because one can see that economic gains (read “better quality of life) have a higher priority then religion. A fair number characters in the movie seems to quote from the will of God constantly, but the main influential characters seem to have more of an ‘accommodating’ attitude towards ‘Him’ during the later part of the movie.

The second part saw Commander God’s presence domination the flow of the storyline, the armies march under His banner to destroy His enemies with faith as their shield and His anger as their lance, they fear his wrath if they do not follow His orders (of course the priest spoke in His stead). When one of the barons commented that they might lose due to lack of water, a priest accused him of blasphemy. This level of fervor combined with hypernationalism creates a potent mix for the dynamite of war.
The flavor of religion is indeed very strong in this movie. It drives the characters to seek forgiveness, armies to war and the dying to death. However, this movie also hints that religion is open to interpretations, (refer to the scene where Bailian burns the bodies of dead soldiers before the ritual three days was up). The movie also hints that tolerance has to come at a price, and nothing truly comes for free, there is nothing effectively given for free in the whole movie (Bailian’s father had to die for him to become a hero, taxes for the right to pray, great death in exchange for the city, sex in exchange for a stay in the villa etc).

Vernon

Democracy: The Modified Democracy

2008-10-01T20:54:00.002+08:00

“I am not interested in being politically correct.
I am interested in being correct.”
Lee Kuan Yew:
Interview with Fortune magazine, Aug 4, 1997
*MM Lew Kuan Yew who leads our great ‘democratic’ nation said the above. Would Plato, the original father of democracy, have said the same thing?

Democracy was conceived by the Greeks. The Greeks loved justice and laws so much they became a nation of philosophers and thinkers, passing numerous bills and enforcing those laws through their armies. But what is the original democracy? Is it simply freedom, justice or maybe “people’s rule”? There is no universally accepted definition of democracy today; in fact, if you go back and read Plato’s Republic you would not find his version around being practiced word for word today.

The old democracy was founded during a time of slaves and oppressed women. People had little rights and those rights were unknown to the uneducated masses. Humans have not solved the problems of War, Disease and Famine. The ideal that would become the bedrock of a Republic seemed surreal, like the light at the end of a dark tunnel. The world was different then. When people moved in large numbers, they where soldiers not displaced and mobile labor, back then it was easier to believe than disbelieve. People knew their roles and places in society and could almost always fall back on their land. The demographics and landscape has changed, so is it any surprise that the governing model also went through an overhaul?

The world we live in today is a globalized one. War, Disease and Famine are gone. Free trade and free enterprise have become the backbone of the world economy. It is my belief that any word accorded the favor of being prefixed by “free” has to be something good and beneficial for the majority of the human population. However in the name of maintaining this free trade and a robust economy to attract more enterprise, the Singapore government has impinged on a large number of our “freedoms”.

We have increasingly allowed others to define our freedoms for us: who we can sell our fully paid for and fully “owned” flat to, where and when we can drive, what kind of websites you can surf ( type in a undesirable URL and you get directed to http://www.mda.gov.sg ). We just listen and follow without any serious reaction. Global wealth has long ago torn the rule away from the people. Under the guise of maintaining our position as an economic power-house, so much has been taken away from the people to be kept in the coffers of the rich and powerful. In the name of money-making opportunities, we give up certain liberties. We have been indoctrinated by fear and progress MUST come at a cost of liberties. Slowly but surely we are sleepwalking into a level of state-surveillance that will never be reversed. In exchange for what we give up, we are provided a modicum of a good life, and a quiet life; the ultimate anesthetic for the brain (Today newspaper 7/7/2008 “A modern Authoritarianism”).

The democracies today no longer resemble the original principle of democracy envisioned by Plato. We are no longer concerned with the sufferings of the poor and how they are losing out, more often then not we now readily believe economic reasons over our supposedly innate moral compass. Our decisions are driven by personal gain and rarely ‘for our brothers’. The state is now a separate entity from the people. A very small group of elites now call the shots for a large number of people, and they live lives nothing like those of the majority, yet are able to claim that they understand what we are going though. I feel that we should not call ourselves a Democratic nation. I believe that the moment we change our stance to a Modified Democratic nation and specify what it is that we modified, more people around the world will better understand us. Because that is what we are, a Modified Republic running on a Modified Democratic System, in the free Globalized World which didn’t exist when the true Democracy was first born.

Vernon

War and Violence: The Second Sino Japanese War was a religious one

2008-09-15T19:34:00.001+08:00

"Barbaric, heartless
or misdirected religious fervor?"

The Japanese people are a very interesting “race” of people. The history of this “closed door” nation is filled with more then her fair share of blood shed and violence with her history punctuated with the likes of the Meiji revolution and the Shogun wars. Originally a caste based society with the God Emperor at the top followed by the court nobles, the famous and ancient warrior/Samurai class and Hatamoto/supervisor class then finally the peasantry, the Sino Japanese war was fought not with the samurai but with officers and his troops serving under the God Emperor.

The emperor was accorded a divine status; also young people were taught that they were aohitogusa – growing human weeds – who were to protect the Emperor by serving as his shield. This was, of course, seen as a great privilege. To die for the Emperor was the highest honor that could be attained.

Permeating though all levels of the hierarchy is the single spinal value of Bushido or The Way of the Sword. Although permeating, Bushido is mainly practiced by the warrior caste of the feudal Japanese society and is normally associated but not limited to the handling of weapons. Three of the seven principle values of Bushido are, Rectitude; when we must die, we must die. Bravery and Loyalty are the other two.

During the 1930s, after many years of isolation, Japan was on the fast track towards becoming a modern country. Her growth was the result of a myriad of reasons; one of it was the adoption and implementation of western technology. However, she lacked the natural resources needed to feed her seventy million mouths and the growing economy. She also lacked an oversea empire that could provide it (Natkiel, R. (2005) Atlas of 20th Century Warfare Capella). Reasons such as these were used to justify attacking China and later on taking over the rest of Asia. Many generations under the Offspring of the Sun Goddess Amaterasu caused them to think of their service to him as a divine duty. Japan’s ministers capitalized on this and used the figurehead emperor’s name to free Asia from the westerners.

During the years preparing the troops, the ideology of survivalism; that is, if they do not reach out and claim some resource from China they will die as a nation; took root. They then indoctrinated into the population the concept of Bushido. Taken from the samurai and shared with the “peasants”, now you did not have to be samurai to practice Bushido; as long as you are Japanese you have to follow the way of the sword.
The Japanese launched the equivalent of a Blitzkrieg on Pearl Harbor and started the war.

As early as then, sacrificing oneself for the empire was evident in every damaged plane crashing itself onto stationary battleships. During the first few battles, the Japanese troops fought with more fervor, more bravery (as they believed that they were fighting for a God and death in His name was a good and honorable death), more courage and they didn’t believe in “run today, fight again another day”; this is consistent with Bushido. More such acts of self-sacrifice were observed as the Japanese started to lose battle after battle. Bushido was most evident during the battle of Iwo Jima. Iwo Jima was thought by the troops to be the last bastion against serious air raids on Japan as allied forces could use the island as an air base to launch raids on their homeland. Troops fought fiercely, even running into enemy fire just to throw a grenade into a platoon where it would cause the greatest damage.

Have these traits also been characteristic of other wars? Remember the Crusades, or the Holy war? Just as the God Emperor was put on equal standing with Christ or Allah, the Japanese soldier shared similarities with a jihadist or a templar. I believe that only belief in a divine presence, a greater entity and a metaphysical realm can convince and drive an individual to go to such lengths at great personal peril, to achieve something he might never see in his lifetime.

Vernon

Crime: Drugs

2008-09-10T09:22:00.001+08:00

"Chasing the dragon?"

Drugs, firearms and human trafficking are the top three ways to make obscene amounts of money illegally. And more often than not, they are always looked at as one problem. Human trafficking provides the girls and children for the international sex trade whereas firearms provide the means for a gang or mob to enforce territorial control. Both the sex trade and firearms bestow power on the “middle man”. The arms dealer actively use the very guns they sell to protect themselves or reinforce their rules and businesses, the pimp feels empowered through intimidation and violence and internalizes into his whores that they are not worth anyone else’s love and selling their bodies is the only thing they can do.

What about drugs? K, ice, black beauty, blue devils, speed, brown, chalk, go fast, half elbows and hundreds of similar street names for the very thing that harms everyone who touches it. From the drug lord who takes his “coke” with this afternoon tea to the “bunny” who offers her body for a shot of “Ya ba”, everyone gets hooked. Being enslaved to mind-altering substances doesn’t equate to empowerment in my book.

The average druggie on the street cannot afford to sustain his habit of gradual demise; before long he would have fallen to the depths of society. He would have probably torn his family apart, borrowed as much money as he could have from his friends and wiped his health on the dirty streets.

Who would knowingly choose such a path? Who with full knowledge of the consequences and the price he would ultimately pay take his first sniff? Would anyone with a bright future make a conscious choice to engage in narcotics? Would he? Would you?

The social facts and forces acting on and contextualizing the environment of an average junkie are numerous. The pain of a life of poverty, temptation to jump out of the misery that is existence for even a few hours sometimes prove too hard to ignore. The pressures of his peers in gangs from whom the junkie sought brotherhood away from a family that could not provide it, marginalized from a school system too quick to judge, stereotype and condemn. Born into a difficult family and made myopic of his future by the violence and lack of love from home, the junkie too easily finds solace in entry-level substance abuse like drinking, smoking then glue sniffing. As the body builds resistances against such “easy” drugs, the junkie needs more to stay high, his quest slowly but surely leads him towards more hardcore drugs.

The cravings soon explode in his face and the costs to sustain such a habit follow suit. Having led a life of indulging his body, the junkie knows little of self-discipline and control and instead seeks ways to feed his ever-expanding narcotic needs. His debilitating/destructive lifestyle being the cause of his unemployment, he then faces the choice of turning to crime or become a runner for the drug boss.
In Singapore, those two start points have only one end point: police intervention. Soon faced with jail, rehabilitation or capital punishment, the junkie feels angry, humiliated and ashamed, and bears the burden alone under the iron fist of the law.

When a man jaywalks and is involved in a hit and run, breaks half a dozen bones and gets himself hospitalized, will you charge him in court for jaywalking before he gets treated or withhold charges until he has fully recovered? Treat drug addicts as victims of a system and not as knowing criminals.

Vernon

Women and the family: A bird or a plastic bag?

2008-09-03T19:40:00.001+08:00

The typical family in Tan Loc Island in Vietnam would have consisted of an average of 5 children, a mix of boys and girls. The parents would have been farmers, scratched a living by pulling mussels from the muck in the Mekong River or other arduous vocations associated with poverty stricken areas. This configuration persisted even though the country has opened up over the last decade, even though money and significantly big businesses took up residence near places like Tan Loc Island.
The unique mix of social factors like the nature of the businesses (i.e. textile and other labor intensive “female” orientated jobs) originating from “Asian” countries like Taiwan and Korean added onto the exposure of local Vietnam girls to the businessmen from these countries and the relative low education rate of Vietnamese women coupled with the overall domestically submissive nature and her upbringing and instillation of values like “to bring a better life to your parents” was the yoke in the middle of the poverty egg white.
It was under these circumstances when Quyen was born. She was born the 3rd of 6 children. Her father was a rice farmer and had to work rain or shine on the family’s poor crop yielding land. They lived in a small straw hut and ate very humbly as most of the best grains from the fields was sold at the market. By the time Quyen turned of age, there was already a trend that if they are reasonably attractive (some even if they are not so attractive), they would make their way to one of the few matchmaking agents around the area. Of course these agencies need not advertise since the families of the girls successfully married off overseas had upgraded their houses, sported color TVs and fishing ponds was advertisement enough.
At first, her protective father objected. However Quyen said that she didn’t mind and that it would bring her great joy if she was able to help contribute to her family. The mere chance of elevating their parents from poverty was reason enough to take that risk. The pillars risk of personal danger, potential abuse and rape, the almost permanent displacement from her home country or even the very real chance of never seeing their parents again could not stand against the possibility of elevation.

However Quyen’s story did not have a happy ending, her husband from Taiwan was a car washer who has been divorced four times, an alcoholic and often abuses her both physically and sexually. Her family of course was not elevated. There are of course success stories, which I will not mention here.

Did she actually decide on this path herself? Did she, a young, attractive uneducated 20 year old have other choices? She was born into poverty; her social class denied her of education and opportunities. Her socialization led her to believe strongly that it was her responsibility to bring her family out of poverty even if it deviated from the traditional template of marrying a Vietnamese man. Globalization and free trade brought businesses into the country and exposure to local Vietnamese girls. Education and affluence of women in other countries led to the difficulties of their local men finding a wife, this generated a demand, and globalization gave the exposure, entrepreneurs created the means and poverty gave her the push. In then end, social winds blew her around like a plastic bag in the sky of globalization instead of a bird riding those winds.

Work and Trade: The Enforced Normality

2008-08-25T00:32:00.007+08:00

"A positive attitude towards training and re-training is the best insurance against job-loss and unemployment".
Prime Minister Goh Chok Tong.

In Singapore, Gods from various religions demand homage from 4 billion souls. Yet these poor souls all yield their future to a small handful of elites whose power and influence tunnel deep and spread far. Faceless collectors of coke cans together with the omnipresence of a group of men dressed in white hides under the vestige of a cosmopolitan global city where no one is left behind.

The PAP has long since become the government, not only is a cow a mammal, the mammal is also the cow.
Our government has “chosen” for us a way to be “insured” of our jobs and employment. That is re-training, skills upgrading, skill renewal and the like. We all were assured that if everyone is willing to at least “upgrade”, a slot would be safe for us.

But upgrading means very different things. How many instances did a person “upgrade” within the safety of employment as compared to those who paid for their “upgrading” out of bank accounts which no longer expected wages? A family might upgrade from a 3 room to a 4 room HDB, but how many senior blue collar workers like shipyard weiders ( actual case study done by me in a market food court ) upgraded to bus captains and beverage crews at food courts? Under the plethora of new job titles like sanitary engineer, landscape specialist and outdoor visual distributors, the government has lifted perfectly from the New Division of Labor’s uber-specialization to create so many “new” jobs for an “upgraded” Singaporean.
Many can attest to the many wonders that government initiated programs have spurred. Testimonials from upgraded workers splash all over government controlled media educate us of the many benefits of upgrading. Becoming more valuable to one’s employer, picking up a new trade or even simply a new skill are just some of the many benefits. I wonder how many got pay raises? Or even gained immunity from the unmarried, young, non-CPF liable Indian national willing to do double the work for half the pay. Why don’t retrenched individual jump for joy such an opportunity for a vast improvement in life?
Under the guided wisdom of the government and spurred on by labor law, companies establish bimonthly reviews, company level ranking for all departments and “interview” with “under achievers”. All in a bid to sharpen the competitive edge for them and in turn boost Singapore economy in their own small way.

Singapore is indeed a fine country, a garden city. A garden tended to by a large army of gardeners and a small team of 60 year old landscape engineers. How wonderful that we live in a country of every convenience. Well trained and well equipped 70year old uncles watch over the tables of our coffee shops diligently and more “fresh blooded” taxi drivers ply our clean streets. Balance has been achieved, no need to “upgrade” any labor law or foreign labor policies. Our workers are safe and sound as long as they keep more relevant then the next incoming foreign “talent”.

Class and Inequality : Flu or Cancer?

2008-08-20T09:41:00.003+08:00

"In a country well governed, poverty is something to be ashamed of. In a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of." ~ Confucius

Can we believe that inequality can be abolished?

Enlightened philosophers have long ago believed that the nature of society itself creates inequality. Let us first ask ourselves, what does it mean to be equal? Do not make the mistake of equating equal opportunities and equality to be the same. We are all born different, special unique and weird from one another. Does it even make sense to try to attain a society where we are all the same?

I personally feel that inequality stems from the face that we are "individuals" and different "talents". Our starting points in life are different(social class). Our issued equipments are different(economic status). Even what you where taught in school to believe are different(cultural socialization). Ask yourself again, does it still make "sense" for us to try to abolish inequality? Let us talk about our society. Today's society is bureaucratic and capitalist in nature. Karl Marx calls the capitalist class the "ruling" class. A capitalist society needs bosses; a bureaucratic society needs leaders and its CEOs.

Inequality is present the moment an individual gain leverage over another, when one society conquers another. When one farmer becomes more successful then another, he acquires capital, purchases land and thereafter hires workers to work his land so he won't have to farm. Just follow that train of thought and you will arrive at a capitalist society. A large mass of labor needs a leader. Follow that train of thought and you will arrive at a bureaucratic society. These societies have the "best" forms of "governance" that we have today. How do i dare pass such a statement? The fact that I am typing this on a laptop in an air-conditioned room in a high-rise building is testament enough. Other forms of governance like fascism, communism and socialism have not been as successful. Therefore we must first agree that these systems are here to stay, before anyone can start to "tackle" the problem of Inequality and other social ills which sprout from it.

Next we need to come to an appreciation that inequality is a byproduct of these systems. Think of it as a pair of newlyweds whose first child is mentally handicapped( let us assume that these newlyweds follow Confucian ideals and not Nazi sentiments, and they are not allowed to give up the child, and will then have to raise the child ). Obviously if they neglect this child, he will become a severe problem for them. This child although mentally challenged, when given the proper environment, proper guidance and proper patient teachers, he would in time be able to perform his social acting to some mild degree and care for himself sufficiently. We must take a similar approach towards inequality in our society. It have became a necessary evil, and therefore must be necessarily treated. But how do we treat inequality? Are we to treat it like a "flu" or like a terminal "cancer"?

The attitude one have when treating something as "part of life" or "part of growing up" is different from the attitude one have from treating a terminal illness. I think we must take the "flu" approach. Properly treated it can be improved; left alone it can be terminal. How Singapore does it it by trying to narrow the gap between the rich and the poor. It taxes the rich heavily for the many subsidies the government have created for the poor. It tries at all levels to provide "equal" opportunities. In school or the work place, a student or a interviewee wont feel that his social class at birth will affect his entry or promotion. Ask yourselves, when was the last time you heard someone say "Argh damn, my father drives a lorry and so I cant apply for that banker job!".

In conclusion, I believe that inequality is necessary in some twisted fashion, if everyone was truly equal in society then I believe that everyone will equally do nothing. Inequality is a byproduct of an "imperfect" system which have survived the Darwinian challenges in the geopolitical world. Therefore, constant vigilance must be paid to this mentally challenged child with a flu lest it tears us apart from within.

What is your problem !?

2008-08-11T01:15:00.005+08:00

What is social problem? What is problem? Instead of telling you what would actually constitute as a problem, let me give you my own definition of a one. To me, a problem is an issue that which affect the procurement outcome.

Humans have a distinct ability that is lacking in animals, and that is to "expect" on an almost spontaneous manner. If I were to arrange to meet “John” at the KFC on Basement 1 of Plaza Singapura at 1pm, and I turn up on the dot at 1pm, only to find the absence of John. I have expected him, and therefore a vacuum is realized. Animals do not have this level of spontaneous expectations, which I must add is angularly different from the expectation exemplified by Pavlov’s Dogs. There for I personally find it safe to say that due to this lack of perception, animals do not have any problems! What, then happens when the word "problem" is prefixed by “social”? That as most of us is able to surmise, merely elevates the problem onto a platform involving many people. And as a utilitarian would put it, it would decrease the overall happiness of the people as a whole.

I personally do NOT deem chewing gun as a social problem. Rather, the problem lies in the disposal of the non-biodegradable confectionery. The seemingly harmless chewable rubber has been around is our dear lion city since a long time ago. It is still around today, in fact I am chewing a stick right now as I am typing this. My favourite oral pass time was banned in The Garden City sometime during 1992. The demographic cultural cross section of the middle class which constitutes the bulk of the nations’ “...hardy, resilient and stout-hearted people” (National Day Rally Speech, August 8, 1972) did not fully share the government’s view on the proper disposable of their elastic candy.

As such unsightly pink spots did not sit nicely in the government's grand landscaping scheme, they decided to nip the weed at the bud.
What was the problem? Where is a bud? The problem here was the “avoidable” time, effort and money being spent in the removal of the problematic pink spots around the nook and crannies of the nation. From MRT doors, pavements, bus stops and underneath all manner of seats and tables the adhesive rubber and it accompanying stain has to be meticulously removed.

As “Gum” was not addictive or a social lubricant like alcohol, therefore denying the government a plausible reason to heavily tax its import and sale to cover the rising cost generated by inconsiderate citizens and/or educating/cultivating them into considerate ones. The government did the next best thing. They BANNED it!

From what I can infer from the government’s actions, the social problem in this context which is the poor, inconsiderate disposal of chewed gum stems not from the education, socialization, indoctrination or cultivation of its flock but simply is the availability of the culprit. The reason why I singled out the factor of availability is because it is not allowed to IMPORT, BUY or SELL gum, but is it not a crime to CHEW it. If you doubt this, go into a police post while chewing a Wrigley’s and see what happens.

The Truth

2008-07-17T21:10:00.001+08:00

Our world rate wealth over courage and comfort over commitment, we think that nothing will ever disturb our lives, we are surprised when people get sick and die, we think that technology can fix everything, we take our safety for granted, we have more degrees but less sense, we have more medicine but less wellness, we have added years to life, but not life to years, we build everything bigger, but not necessarily better, we have more convenience but less time, we have more communication but less understanding, we make heroes out of actors but have no idea who the real heroes are.

~a faceless, nameless army personell

Verbose

2008-07-17T20:36:00.005+08:00

"All of the crimes committed by the highest, wisest, most principled species the planet have ever produced shows that beyond a doubt; that we are also the lowest, craziest, most blood drenched species. This is our shame, our Paradox."

~ A Moral Ape

There are people who describe the behavior of Homo-sapiens (Man-smart) as nothing more then an effort to get as many genes as possible into the next generation.

Freud has already nailed this point in his essays on Human Sexuality. More specifically the Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality. But I am not here to discuss his Essays. What I am here to discuss is about you. Yes, the individual who moves through life without knowing your impact or role in the grand scheme of things.

Why do we do what we do? Following the norms and mores of today’s society, we are convinced by people in positions of “authority” that the best if not only route towards self sustenance is via the acumination of wealth, by wealth I mean monetary wealth. The generation which is hemoglobin of our great cities is infected with the vastly temporal “religion” of money-chasing. Submerged in this religion one easily forgets that money is a means to an end, and not a means in itself.

But how often does one question in depth to what ends does this wealth serve them? Does it even serve them well? Does it, after all that’s been said and done, doest it make one happier?

A Work in Progress

2008-02-10T12:20:00.000+08:00

“When we see ourselves in the photo album during different stages of our lives, what makes these persons different individuals?”

~ An extract from The Philosophy of the Mind

Imagine there is a creator. Imagine he is “creating” or “designing” you right now, you don’t exist right now. Imagine he is utilizing a computer to design you; much like The Sims game and when he is done, and “preview” picture comes up and a “confirm” or “not confirm” button appears. The question is simple, what form do you think the picture took? Assuming you where “destined” to die at 80 years of age, how old do you think the “you” in the picture is? As a baby, as a 21 year old young adult, or at 30, at the prime of your life? The answer is simple, the person depicted would be you on you deathbed, or coffin or sidewalk or wherever you died.

Basically what I am trying to say is that we all should approach other persons with the benefit of a doubt. What do I mean? It means we should all perceive others as work in progress, and not so critical of their flaws and shortcomings.

"If a person's life is a building, this is how he would look right now"

We don’t go to a construction site and comment and point fingers at all the mess, rubble and dust. It’s the same concept; we can be of course constructively critical.

Just like a frame of a house will never suffice as a house, as person still developing person will never suffice the roles society has in store for him. (Applicable in today’s society) A 12 year old boy is not ready to be a father or a breadwinner, likewise a man with a 16 year old mentality is not up to such a task. Or a girl as a teenage mother, of course all of these involve the exclusion of the unique circumstances each and every one of us is integrated into. There are always special cases and special people, but that is not the scope of this topic.

Basically, withhold your prejudices, and your condemnation. Like happiness, life is a journey, and we are always never ready when we start it. Kudos !

Vernon

Awe

2008-01-06T17:53:00.000+08:00

"If God exist, it all depends on him.

If He doesnt, it all depends on us." ~ Camus

Life world – This refers to the everyday world as it is experienced by ordinary men and women. Its chief characteristic is that it is unproblematic and is taken for granted, and is therefore to be contrasted with the world of scientists and sociologists in which natural objects and social interactions are not taken for granted.

The above is a brief extract from a book I am currently reading. Life is essentially about perception. Life world this is sense when contrasted with the other kind of worlds perceived by other are very different.
Imagine, a world which one cannot take any thing for granted. Living like a baby, everyday is a day of awe and amazement. Everything new, everything special, nothing is mundane, nothing is boring and nothing is “supposed” to happen.

What a life that would we. Never bored ……

Stray thoughts slipping out number I

2007-12-26T19:26:00.000+08:00

The only reality is the present,
yesterday is a memory,
and tomorrow is a dream.

V

The Power of Self Reflection

2007-12-24T00:21:00.000+08:00

Awareness, something like that can change the course of a person’s life in ways he or she can never imagine.

Self reflection can consist of a dialogue with oneself, a discourse with the soul. Look deep, and yet look far. Farther then any eye can see, deeper then any breath one can take.

Understand one self and self reflection can be best understood by the metaphor of a sculpture. When one is appreciating a fine piece of stone work, one would no doubt pay compliments to the fine detail of the work. Its intricacies and impeccable attention to detail, when Michelangelo was asked how he sculpted his master piece David, he said; he already saw David in the slab of marble, he merely was removing the marble which was hiding him.

Vandalizing marble? Staining canvases? Or creating art?

Two ways to draw a mental image of one self; draw it with the rainbow of your good points, or with the kaleidoscope your flaws. Face the facts, people by their own nature have more flaws then flavor, and it’s always better to have more shades of red then just crimson.

Be true to yourself as you paint, be pessimistic, yet be realistic. When finally your art goes into the gallery of life, ask yourself; is that who you really want to be?

Ants

2007-11-28T09:29:00.000+08:00

[Thomas Hobbes]

tech·nol·o·gy can be defined as the branch of knowledge that deals with the creation and use of technical means and their interrelation with life, society, and the environment, drawing upon such subjects as industrial arts, engineering, applied science, and pure science.

But what does it mean to us? What does it mean to you? Technology has affected us in ways we cannot even imagine. One might even ask; are humans "meant" to live like this? We have almost forgotten our primitive ways, or have we? Or has technology changed the way we exhibit or indulge in them. Ants build mounts, we build skyscrapers. Same thing or different? Think you are better then ants just owing to the fact that they build tiny hills whereby you oh great humans can build skyscrapers? But can you, just you and no one else posses every knowledge to build one? No one can. Why? Because that's not how it works. Humans are social creatures, and i meant more just just engaging in recreational activities together. Humans work together for the greater furtherance of our great society. And if left alone, away from the books or means of communications of which we are so used to. We are hardly productive at all.

Why is it so that we need encouragement? Why does cheering work on the majority? Why is it so that the family is the basic building block of any great society? Why can't human simply motivate themselves? Why is it not the PERSON or the INDIVIDUAL is the basic building blocks of any great society?

Lets start with the latter point. The individual cannot exist without the society. There for, it does not exist in the first place. Just like on cannot be father, mother, sister or brother if one simply exist alone.

and for the first point: refer to this famous quote from Thomas Hobbes extracted from his book "Leviathan"

"Considering the life of a person who only rely on his own strengths. In such a condition, there is no place for industry, because the fruit thereof is uncertain, and consequently no culture of the earth; no navigation; nor use of the commodities that may be imported by sea; no commodious buildings; no instruments of moving or removing such things that requires much force; no knowledge of the face of the earth; no account of time; no arts, no letters; no society; and, which is worst of all, continual fear and danger of a violent death; and the life of a man; solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short."

In short, technology is the ant hill of our great race, and we are the ants. We are nothing if not part of something greater.

Vernon

Purpose

2007-11-13T13:56:00.000+08:00

It is purpose that created us,
it is purpose that connects us
it is purpose that pulls us
it is purpose that drives us, that defines us and binds us.

~ Agent Smith

Rarely are there concepts which are of mammoth significance to us and yet we are completely oblivious to it. Purpose, Aristotle has long ago tackled this problem for us. The question of purpose and what it means to know and not to know it. To know it personally is an arduous journey.
To understand purpose one have to look elsewhere first instead of at oneself. The proper functioning of an entity and its primary purpose. Look at nature, has nature created anything "useless" before? Has there every been a product of mother nature which is truly completely useless? A tree has its purpose and many "sub-purposes" some of them supporting each other. But misunderstanding of it could make it divert from its primary purpose. Below is an example.
Imagine a pen, a pen with a cap used to cover the tip. Imagine it was used to break a lock. Would it be possible? If this pen fails to break the lock, would it then be a "lousy" pen, a failure amongst it's peers? I am sure we have the same answer.
The pen has one purpose, and one true purpose only that is to write. Every aspect of its physical properties have been geared towards that end-state in mind. Its material, light; for ease of writing, the ink ; for staining the paper, to facilitate writing, the tip; to regulate the flow of the ink, etc, etc.
Now look at a human being, a person. Consider ALL of his/her physical properties....

Time and Tide

2007-11-10T12:48:00.000+08:00

"Our everyday has been reduced to nothing more then today waiting for tomorrow to happen"
~ Vernon
on how the perception of time has
has changed since 090606.

"To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven" ~ Ecclesiastes

Time, an element of our lives we are always fighting against. Sometimes we are pushing it, sometime are are pulling it. Hardly are are instances whereby we are at peace with it. But like any beast it can be tamed, and like people it can be managed. How to manage or to tame it, unfortunately that is not within the scope of this.... piece.
Remember that our lives are lived in the present, not in the past and not in the future. Do not make the grave error of living in the past or drunk in the prospects of that which has not passed.

Live for yourself and for the moment, act and decide in ways you will not regret. Life has no rehearsals, its a LIVE broadcast. Hit or miss.
These words doesn't tell you how to manage or tame Time, it tells you how to Look at it.

Three cheers to Time, our Bane and our Asset
Vernon

Chance and Randomness

2007-11-04T06:31:00.000+08:00

What the vulgar call chance is nothing

but a secret and concealed cause.
~David Hume

Can randomness really exist? Can one believe something so explicit as chance, it is almost as if the concept of chance was fabricated out of convenience. What about being surprised, can we really never be surprised? The fact the we can actually be not surprised is due to the fact; i say fact because it is a fact, that we have taken certain things for granted. That is why we have the capacity to become not surprised. Imagine if everyone never took anything for granted, then every second of the day, every event would shock you to death. Random and suprising events are held to be a sign of our limited knowledge and our convenient nature.

Look back in time, what are the odds of you happening? Your ancestors would have to meet at specific times, marry and have sex at very specific times. The "chances" of you coming into this world are one in a billion. But you are here, you are here reading this. What would "surprise" you even more is if time was to rewind back a few hundred years, things would still unfold the same way. In truth, whatever happened happened and could not happened in any other way. There is no such thing as chance, no randomness just inevitability.

Prologue

2007-11-03T06:30:00.000+08:00

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning.

~ Albert Einstein

"The wise separates them from the mass of people who unthinkingly accepts only what they know through immediate experience."
~"Access to Philosophy" By Mel Thompson

Vanity is the bane of knowledge and wisdom. Few are able to bring themselves back to the ever questioning nature of a child, ever present are the fears of being labeled and ostracized. But mightier then both is the feeling of belittlement of being stupid. Paradoxically the greatest fool is he who think he is the wisest.

Fear not the unknown, question immediate experience, for experience is raw wisdom; still untapped and not maximized. Ponder, think and reflect. Never be afraid of asking questions, never be afraid of looking stupid or less knowledgeable. Be ever ready to learn, to yield and to acquire.

With this note, I will end this post and start this blog.