We are all but nodes in the web of social relations. Our links to other persons are varied in both intensity as well as frequency. I personally believe that it we should measure our happiness by the quality of social relations in our lives not by the quantity of relations.
But alas, the human mind and body are sensitive to differentials, not absolutes. The emotions we feel are more intense towards those who are closer to us, as compared to those who are on the outskirts of our consciousness. The intensity of a single link would outshine the other links, causing them to pale in comparison, and render its loss unnoticeable. Many a girl, or a guy for that matter, once they have found themselves a partner, jettison their friends, unconsciously purging them out of their lives by denying them quality time. Without quality time, relationships cannot grow, sometimes they even wither. But the node in question, drunk on pheromones and driven by hormones does not feel the withering of the garden, for her gaze was fixated on a single, perfect flower. Unfortunately, we are distracted by that which holds our attention, over time this fixation would cause a weak minded person to lose perspective; priority and weightages shift arbitrarily, eyes glaze over and hearts soften.
A garden cannot be made beautiful by a single flower, no matter how beautiful. A life cannot be made meaningful by a single person, no matter how perfect. When the daze has cleared, and the heat of passion has faded we awake to a withered garden.
We must not forget the people in our lives, those who were with us when we were down, those who would stand aside when we are rising so we would get more of the light. How do we honour our friends? We honour them not with great speeches and awards; we honour them best with our time. Time is the most precious resource, money cannot buy more time, and none of us know how much time we actually have. How better to honour those who love us then by offering them our most precious resource. Such is the fertilizer for all deep and meaningful relationships.
Why do we clamour for attention of others? We do so because we are not certain of it, because we are not certain of the supply, we clamour because we are insecure of ourselves. Be alas, we confuse the cause for the effect. Being self secure will draw the attention of others, being sure footed will ensure a steady following. Being needy and attention seeking will drive others away.
Two incomplete persons cannot make one whole. Two insecure persons cannot give each other security. Strive first to be complete person, and seek a complementing partner and together both will enrich each other’s lives and not simply attempt to fill an insecure gap.
