Self-worth can be a contentious subject to discuss. We all pitch ourselves at different levels, depending on factors like age, gender, appearance, etc.
Before we get any further let us list our some premises and assumptions. In the current order of things, the onus is on the guy to take the initiative to bridge the gap and break the ice. Some might find this idea reasonable, some might find this old fashioned, but this will be the point of departure were I will balance this entry. People develop differently and at different speeds depending on their environment and peers. Passivity does not mean inaction, passivity is not a lack of action, it is a state of mind, and one can hold your hand passively.
Girls rarely would want to seem too eager or overly interested in a guy. There can be a myriad of reasons behind this, and sometimes we ourselves are not aware of the reasons or are unable to articulate them. But I will not be so bold as to try and guess the reasons girls might have for playing hard to get, I am not trying to give an answer, I am trying to ask a question. Actions or inactions such as, not replying a sms immediately, giving a maybe answer when she already wanted to say yes, etc. Sometimes, girls brand themselves as passive, hence they rationalize their behaviour to be acceptable. This mode of thinking will lead to a crime of wastage. The world has developed in such a way that we have come to be responsible for many things in our lives. We don’t get assigned our dream jobs, we don’t randomly answer our exams questions. We send out countless resumes, psych ourselves up for interviews, studying voraciously for exams. But why would you sit behind him in class and stare at his back, walk pass his cubical at work and say nothing? To leave things up to luck and chance is not just an act of passivity, its downright irresponsible. We are not responsible for the circumstances deal to us, but we are responsible for the play of our own happiness.
Changing gears, I will put forth the perspective of the guy. Simply put, playing hard to get creates an impression of not only of what the girl thinks of herself, but also her perspective on the relationship she as with the guy, how much she values his time, how much she take him for granted, how serious she feels about herself and other guys.
Depending on what phase of life you are in, you will meet different grades of guys. We have the childish, insecure teenager, the dreamer early 20s, the grounded late 20s, the conscious 30 year old, etc. I am generalizing of course, but the fact that guys are men and men are guys at different stages of their lives. This phase construction is based on age, but not determined by it, the circumstances are the determining factors of growth in my opinion.
By the time boys become men, and take on any worthwhile form, they would have already laid the foundations of their personalities. They would and should have grounded their thoughts, calibrated the loci of their self-worth, and learned how to channel their resources. In short, they would be busy. Of course not all men fall into this category, most are still growing into this mould even into their 30s.
By the time a guy becomes worthwhile in anyway. He would have captured the attention of more than just you. You might know him or of both of you might be strangers, it does not matter. What matters is that he has come within reach. It takes less effort to reply a sms than to turn a door knob. Will you turn it or turn away?
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