Few topics are as sensitive as money in consumer crazy Singapore. Due to many reasons, many guys today are still living off their parents. Even if it’s not explicit financial support, they are supported by the provision of housing, food, handphone bills, etc. We are rarely fully independent until we get a job and move out, which is around the age of 32 I reckon.
Point one, our money is not our own. Even if a guy has a part time job, is he paying rent to his parents? Is he paying the bills which he is a part of? Until he has completely broken away financially, his money is not his purely his own. So girls, please don’t expect him to use daddy’s money on you. Lest one valentine day you get a bouquet of flowers with a card saying “I love you, From Simon, Regards Simon’s Dad”.
When I was a teenager, my mom told me “Boy, I didn’t give you money for you to buy flowers for girls, don’t use dad’s money to make up for what you lack”. Honestly I was rather affected by this, but the nail in the coffin for this happened many years after that conversation with mom. I used to work in a bar, there was a rather pretty girl working here. She seemed rather nice and had a boyfriend who adored her. Boyfriend’s father was quite wealthy, so boyfriend had more than enough money to spend her. She was sharing with her friend, in my presence that she don’t even need to bring her wallet out, not even EZ link card because he would drive her home. Once after work, we were all tired and her boyfriend wanted to have supper with her. She reluctantly agreed via sms and told her friend beside her that it’s a free meal anyway.
I swore that I would never be on the other end of that conversation. There are many guys out there who do not share my sentiments. They believe in paying every time all the time, I do not have an issue with that. But there are some guys who are not sure, hence here are some suggestions.
Guys, if you think that you will be seeing her again, offer to pay for her this time and tell her that she can pay for the next time. If she enjoyed her time, she would be glad to do that. But if the idea of paying for her own meal doesn’t sit well with her, then your second date will not materialize and you have saved yourself in many ways. Think about it.
Girls, don’t be too happy when you are with a guy who has a loose wallet. A man’s spending reflects his priorities. Where, who and how he spends can tell you a lot about him. It can tell you what he values, what he take for granted, what kind of relationship he is trying to build with you. Please note that I did not mention any actual amount of money. That is actually irrelevant, it’s the principle behind it. His spending might be hiding his insecurity, his ability to attract friends and influence people.
I am not defending “stingy” guys, but there are some guys out there who actually are broke, yes remember them? A meal with you might cause him to downgrade his lunch for the next 3 days. It’s true that it says a lot when he is willing to sacrifice for you, but what does it say about you when you expect this sacrifice?
I have always believed that generosity is not what you give others, but what you give up for others. Getting a girl something that shows that you are thinking of her often is much better than getting her what she “wants”. A blade of grass can be a precious gift. There can be more love in a blade of grass than in a mansion on Lonely Street.
In our quest to impress others according to the laws of Hollywood, we sometime forget what we are trying to express. Our misplaced expectations render us blind to classical human values.
Once I went out with a rather thoughtful girl for lunch at Swenson’s. Because I had such an awesome time chatting with her I really didn’t mind paying for her. I settled the bill when she went to the ladies, when she came back she asked how much was the bill, I told her that it cost twice as much her next lunch with me. That was years ago, and until now we are good friends. Money will always be a factor in our relationships with people, but don’t let it become an issue.
Become the girl that money cannot buy, let trust be the currency, love be the unit of measurement and loyalty be the statement.
V
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